February 27, 2009

post concert reflections...

I don’t know when it happened- somewhere between first seeing these children in Makindye- learning their names, gathering first impressions… and right now- but they feel like family. The feeling and realization that overcame me tonight was completely humbling- somewhere along this road these children feel like my own. And in tonight’s concert I put my notebook down, ignored my usual critique of concerts, and was completely moved and proud of them. In my opinion tonight was their best concert to date. They are like my little heroes I thought as I watched them- how they came from being unnoticed to shining hope to a world made of broken, hopeless people, cities, countries. How they love to try- how they never give up on working. How they love- that they are quicker to forgive than hold onto anger. And as the pastor asked Nelson, our future minister, to pray for the offering I felt their child-like faith and his confidence bring me a real sense of joy. That overwhelmingly excited feeling overcame me my first time since seeing them- leaving me completely moved and sure that is where I want to be, and more importantly am called to be. Soon we approach our six month mark on the road, and tonight that feeling was so real again- just as it was stirring up inside of me a year ago now. More and more I have hosts comment after they are tucked away in bed how much they look up to me- how much they love me- and just how evident those feelings are by their actions. I know I loose sight of that in the day to day family-like living, but it is true. I recognize it and smile over it more as they confide in our team, as I share in their stories, as I continue to keep record of their personal lives, as they open up to me and share their curious spirits.

This morning I went to the church to greet them feeling exhausted from a restless night before- Mo after trying to get my attention with a hug turned to me and says “Auntie- you are not you today. You don’t sound like you and your big smile is not there.” I let my mood get the better of myself as we do when we’re human and show our emotions more freely when we love more freely- seemingly backwards I know, but so true. This morning reminded me of what I’ve been reflecting on tonight- just as I have come to know them on a deeper level, they know me too- and how evident that was in Mo’s childlike honesty this morning.

It is late now and I don’t think I could keep my eyes open for any longer without my thoughts becoming incoherent and fuzzy, so I will say goodnight from here with the feeling of a full heart.

No comments: