February 1, 2010

God illustrations in the dark

I have never liked highway driving at night.

Driving back from going to see a Rascal Flatts concert with my sister late last Thursday night I began to feel that same sense of nervousness make me tense as Heather slept and I started down the highway. Late at night with only my thoughts to keep me awake I began to wonder why the highway in the dark, on the clearest of evenings always makes me uneasy. I've had my license since I was 16, my mind reasons...unlike driving on tour I know where I'm going... I've never been in an accident...it isn't even snowing, I have insurance...Logically, I know I am safe. I know that, but my heart is always still a flutter. Passing through well lit cities along the highway and then going back to the long stretches of darkness, driving through a couple patches of flurries trying to stay in the cars headlights infront of me to see more clearly and then speeding up again as the snow clears I pray for safety and it dawns on me. I like to see the stretch of road ahead of me. I like to be able to see the next bend in the road over the horizon instead of trusting that my headlights will guide me through the small illuminated area four white stripes long on the road right before me.

That's the way it is between me and God lately living in the mystery of his will. Do you know the old song "thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path"? The song doesn't say "a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my life" if it did there would be no reason for faith, trust and suffering with him. Most of the world woke up today and didn't even know if they would be able to eat today. I woke up and worried over if I will find a job in the next month and how long I would stay in it. If I could always see my life like I do the stretch of highway in the day then I would never have to rely on Him and have Him central to my decision making in life. God gives us enough light for our feet- the step ahead, the move we make day by day. But I find myself always wanting to be able to see past that- just like wanting to see past the little light my headlights shine in the dark. But both light is sufficient. In both I am safe and I have enough. What I do need is to turn worry into prayer, and more and more trust, again and again.

1 comment:

Angela said...

Dido and dido. I don't like driving in the dark. In fact it bothers me more now after tour than it used to. I just want to be safe inside drinking tea when the sun sets. And I also like to see the stretch of life ahead of me..although it is so much more exciting this way. Glad you have you as my KS on this road. I just updated my blog too. Guess we are on the same wavelength ;) Ang