Walking the road less traveled...

This time last year...

2011-05-19T11:18:00.003-04:00

For the past two weekends I have been in Toronto again, reminiscing as I visit the friends, community, and places of a season ago with the same thought to open my memories... "This time last year..."

This time last year I was living with one of my dearest friends and her generous-hearted family. Sitting around their dinner table again it is easy to remember when I was just like family, but this time from the new vantage point of guest.

This time last year I could walk into church and ask "how was your week?" Now the question must broaden to cover the months that I haven't been a physical part of their lives.

This time last year I was busy getting ready to leave for Guatemala to do short-term missions work, having opened my heart up more to the idea that it doesn't matter where we serve, but that we serve. I thought that God may use my time there as a stepping stone for bringing a music program there in the future. Now I'm on tour again because of my time in Guatemala. Sometimes our prayers of "God how do you want to use me after this?" have the most unexpected answers.

But the biggest difference between now and last year is the place my heart is in. Last year, through all my time in Pickering I was restless. Restless to be working differently. Unsure of how to live with purpose, and what my purpose was. Longing to be overseas. Afraid of settling. Now I have better learned that missions is a state of the heart, not your state of living. There is great value in community that shouldn't be taken for granted once you've found that you are surrounded by relationships that have taken time to form, and taken time to care for you while you are gone. Serving is made easy when it is the nature of our daily jobs. A servant's heart though is what truly makes us servants no matter where we live or what we do.

As I learn, as my heart is redirected, I can better see all the opportunities with great purpose that are inbedded in being settled in a community. I think of being back to "where I was last year" when I think of "this time next year" and I am newly and perfectly content.

Humbling the "I" factor

2011-04-12T17:37:00.000-04:00

God always gives us what we need- a place to encourage others and a place where we are rested and encouraged. I don't always need what I think I do. Have you ever thought that someone else might need that more? I hadn't really thought of it that way. I have expectations like anyone else when I am a guest- I am here so that I am taken care of, I am fed, I am made comfortable, and all my needs are met.
...And there begins the self-entitled attitude. It always starts with "I".
For example, I want a real bed not an airbed when I am travelling. I want wireless so I can communicate. I want to seek solace in a quiet evening to give thought and rest to a hard day. I want cleanliness. I am in a difficult place and I am tired., therefore I want to be met in a place where I am encouraged and someone takes the time to pour into me- scratching far beneath the surface of introductions to where I am tired, empty, or lonely for more personal connection.
And then you know what often happens next in those times? I get just the opposite of what I think I need. I stay somewhere in my travels with the choir where I have little privacy and my host is eager to talk when I am ready for my alone time. But then I learn from being squished into the living room where I am right in the middle of household community that my host has not had anyone to carry on a meaningful conversation with for months. Or maybe she is divorced. Maybe lonely. Down, even depressed from the relationship he or she wishes they had with her sons and daughters but doesn't...
And then humility hits me and I learn to see that I am staying with normal people with their own sets of needs, and that sometimes they need the care more than I do. God always provides me with what I need, and when I don't receive the kind of place I think I wanted I get what I really need- a place to encourage someone else.

It's that simple.

2011-02-21T23:25:00.000-05:00

I love the picture a dinner with a host family makes on tour. Different backgrounds. Different cultures, colours, design. Different viewpoints. And through fellowship more similarities, more connection, and less differences as a family knitted together around one table.
Last weekend the snapshot of our families looked like this: One little Chineese girl, one boy from Guatemala, two girls from Uganda, two natives from Oklahoma, and myself from Canada. Around the table space is left waiting for several Etheopian siblings. My host was in the process of adopting a sibling set- "anywhere from 2 to six siblings orphaned in Etheopia" is what she told me she was praying for. They didn't care how many would one day join them around the table and extend their family, just that one day these siblings would. Both parents feel the burden of orphaned siblings and faithfully wait on God's timing in receiving them as their own.
I asked them later if adoption is something that has always been on their hearts. This was their reply:
"God tells us in the Bible to be a father to the fatherless. This is our way of doing that."
No paragraph of reasoning needed.
No more verses quoted.
No processing of the heart that needed explanation.
This is their way of doing what Jesus asks of us.It will not be everyone's way of comapssion, but everyone is called to act.

It was that simple.
...It IS that simple.

The need to articulate.

2011-01-20T19:28:00.001-05:00

Joshua always asks me the same question: "Auntie, who is your best friend in all the children?" With the fair heart of a parent I tell him that I don't have favourites, but unsatisfied he begs me to pick just one. I tell him that I love each child the same even though I love them all for different reasons. Reasons that make them each unique. He looked thoughtful over that explanation for a long time and then with the upmost sincerity looked up at me and asks "Then Auntie Laura, what is it about me that makes you love me?"

..."Why do you love me?"...

I let the question hang in the space between us for only a moment- we must be quick to answer such a question because if we are quick to respond it affirms that we know why we love. How often do we point that out to people? Let me answer that- Not as often as I think we ought to. It makes my mind wander...does my friend know why they are one of my best friends? Does my family know why I love them as people, or do we take that love too easily for granted since we have the easy bond of mother to daughter...sister to sister? I ask myself as Joshua asks me, have I really made it evident to him why I love him- his character, his talents, his growing heart? I answer quickly because I don't want him to think that I just love him because he is in the choir and I am his Auntie. I don't want him to believe that love is simply created by circumstance.

And so over dinner I talk to him about how I love the way he values people, and I want to give him an example so that he knows what I see in him is real. I remind him of all the times he has greeted me and never missed saying hello to people in a church, or his Aunties and Uncles when they come in from a day off. I tell him I believe he has a God-given talent for drumming, and that teaching him in music I have seen him improve in not just playing but playing musically. He has a way of making people feel loved, and the list of things that make him special go on...

When I am done he turns to me without missing a beat and says "Auntie Laura, let me tell you why I love you okay? I love you because you are beautiful. I love you because you have a beautiful voice when you sing." The flattery is sweet and I smile, but then the real reasons come: "I love you because you make time to play with me and you play with me properly. You are not mean and we can just have fun. And I love you because you correct me when I do something wrong, even when I am frustrated and don't want to hear it you don't let me carry on doing the wrong thing."

How often I have underestimated a child's ability to verbalize what they feel. Often the hours spent on drawing their best picture for you speaks greater volumes of love than the note they write you on the back of the picture. I can tell they love me by the way they hug me, greet me, look at me captivated by my teaching, or ask me to stay up and talk with them at night. But it touched my heart especially to hear the reasons articulated, and it reminds me to articulate the reasons we love someone much more often than we do so that they never ask "why?".

Church, Faith and Coffee beans

2010-12-02T00:45:00.000-05:00

One of the ways I believe I have grown as a parent is learning that relationship is the foundation to discipling, discipline, and mentoring. Feel the strength in the hug of child the morning after you took the time to get to know their heart and hear their stories the night before. See how eager they are to spend time with you after you have spent a simple half hour of your day reading them stories and asking about their family. Always care to know how they are and see how quickly they soon care to ask "how are you?" in return. With relationship they will want to listen to you because you have taken the time to listen to them. You know them. They will then desire your wisdom and advice and even your correcting.
This tour I have been more intentional about being relational. I have started writing down everything I am learning about each child in a little notebook much sooner than the idea came to me last time. I feel like getting to know them has just been accelerated. That is the best part of being here, and in my opinion the very heart of parenthood. A wise friend, Vic, came back to church one morning to tell me about the great male bonding time he'd had that night with the boys. I asked him what he meant, and he told me that on some of our early nights to bed he stays up an extra half hour with the children and gives them the time to just talk with him- to be candid, ask all the questions that wonder themselves away in their mind, the silly ideas that make their dimples show when they laugh, the chance at the end of a busy school day to just be silly together, or sometimes allow the conversation to turn into a deeper theological discussion.
Learning our children's hearts... I want to do that more too. Those kinds of things don't just simply fit into this schedule, I need to allow myself to be available for that to happen.
So for the past two nights when the hosts have said their goodnights and we have prayed together, I have stayed behind the extra half hour to talk to the girls. I have learned about their journey to faith, what their families believe, the siblings they have lost, their thoughts on worship music in churches...and tonight I was asked to tell them stories about my Grandmother. Tomorrow we have another half hour or so date on the bus to look at the pictures that illustrate my favourtie memories of her that I shared. We laughed as I told them of the time when I was little and stuffed coffee beans up my nose and then had to be dragged to the hospital to have them removed- only to laugh harder when Deborah said she did the same thing as a child, and so did Victo's sister. I don't know what it is that prompts children from no matter where in the world to do such a thing as shove beans up their noses! But we laughed together, and in just two nights we are closer.
"Auntie Laura you are like Jesus! You come in, spend time with us, care about us, talk with us, and then pray with us and bless us! It is like Jesus is lying in my bed beside me!" (Deborah)
That is the highest compliment I could ever be paid I think.
Tonight two little girls grabbed my hands and quickly shut the door behind them and begged for the chance to talk again.
Tomorrow they will hang off me and tell me they love me, tomorrow I will feel the love in their hug, tomorrow we will share more stores and pictures. Tomorrow will bear the fruit of today's strengthened relationships.

The "how could I not?" attitude

2010-11-20T12:19:00.000-05:00

Before hosting us my last host had never met anyone from Uganda, let alone been to Uganda. But her heart was broken for babies of that country. After hearing that the greatest killer of infants in a hopsital outside Kampala was hypothermia, her garage was packed full of blankets and her husband was working overtime to make enough money to ship off all the blankets to North Carolina where they would be taken with another passionate hearted woman to Uganda. The whole community of Gilette WY knew about the simple, basic need for blankets, the family that was willing and driven, and the garage that was kicking out its space for cars and tools in effort for these newborns. I told my host that it was great that she saw the need and let it burden her so she acted on it. "Well of course" she announced matter of factly. "I felt so badly for those little babies, that they were dying from something that could so easily be prevented. Once I knew that how could I not?"

What a great attitude. Those things that burden us (and I do believe they are different for everyone) - what if dared to let ourselves act on them? What if you, me, the world just looked past all the excuses and worries that stop us? Let go of all the excuses of money, time, wories of our own image, and the fear that we will fail and just focused on the burden that wants to fuel our heart?

Look at what breaks you. I remember coming home from a weekend retreat in grade 9 having seen a video on child soldiers. It was the first time I had heard of children being forced to murder their own parents, and I came home and wept. Not just cried at the thought of it, but I remember being so disturbed that I threw myself on my bed and wept. Just months ago I had to write a paper on child soldiers in Uganda- writing it, I cried over chapters at the thought that the children in the books could have been the child that I hugged today. The first time I was in the Ukraine at the end of highschool was the first time I saw 2000 people share one watering tap, and people who were so rejected from society that they had no hope and would break the limbs of their own babies to earn a cent because it was the only thing that would make people see them. Hearing that there are as many orphans in India as there are people in the entire United States makes me want to be sick.

You and me- we cannot save the world. We cannot help every child that makes up one of those statistics. But somewhere outside Kampala there are hundreds of babies who are not dying before they even get the chance to live because they are too cold, and all becuase of one person. Sometimes, I think it is the attitude of our hearts that needs saving before the world needs saving or can be saved.

What burderns you...

....how could you not?

Blessing: The act of...

2010-10-19T10:45:00.000-04:00

Today is a Panera and pandora day, with nothing else open except for my journal. I have hit one of those points where I need to sit down and be with my thoughts, relive the last week, and gather up all the experiences the week has held, look at them on paper and conciously seek out how it is that I am being challenged, what it is that I am learning, and more than anything how all the love I see and the love I am shown should change me.
I look back on several hosts and pray hard that at the end of my stay with them that I may never become complacent towards generosity. Two weeks ago my host took Chelsea and I to Bloomington Indiana to see all the landmark places of one of our favourite book series by Karen Kingsbury. Giving up her day to drive the hour and a half to Bloomington, she called up her son who lived there to tour us around. He met us with a list of places he thought we'd want to see with directions on getting everywhere we would want to go that day. Neither of them had heard of the series before, but just because we were giddishly happy over exploring the town they were eagerly excited to share in all of it with us. They went out of their way for us that day, not because they had to, but because they desired to. "I know we just met" they said "but we already don't want you to go. You're already a friend." Meet people where they're at, get in on what excites them, enjoy whatever that may be- sightseeing Bloomington, doing coffee, hiking, dancing...and you'll connect quickly, even though travels always move you onward.

Yes, blessing is proactive. It is seeking out how you can meet someone where they're at, and beyond that learn what is special to them. Bill, a member of a church near Hershey PA lived like that. From the moment he called us on tour to firm up details he asked how he could especially bless the chapersones and children. He arranged for us to take the children for their first swim, and then the next day to Chocolate world in Hershey, PA. Swimming with the children is the best- it is hysterically fun.

Chocolate world was truly something else- driving around in a chocolate car ride we toured the factory and looked at how chocolate was made while driving through vats and molds. When Bill found out that it was Thanksgiving in Canada that weekend he sought out the nearest grocery store to buy us pumpkin pie, and then excitedly thought a pumpkin latte would be perfect for Thanksgiving too- and in the same trip for the pie returned with pumpkin lattes.

I want to learn more to meet people where they're at and be excited and involved with what excites them. I look at how these people receive me and hope that I am as warm hearted in being a guest in their home as they are in hosting me.

Why I love being an Auntie...

2010-10-07T21:14:00.000-04:00

1. Beacuse I get the kind of hugs every day where you need to pull the child out of the embrace in order for them to ever let go. It shows love binds.
2. The way the children cling to me when they are scared of dogs. It shows me they trust me.
3. For how they clap for me when I have prayed for them individually at bedtime. I can see they are so thankful.
4. Because when I pray for them at bedtime I get a deeper glimpse into what is inside their hearts- what they desire, and the ways they want to gain wisdom. That vulnerability and honesty deepens our relationship.
5. Watching their eyes light up in rehearsal because they are so eager to do well. It reminds me again how lucky I am to work with such a dedicated and talented group.
6. Seeing how captivated they are when I read them a book. I love being apart of watching how they learn excitedly.
7. Coming back from a day off and hearing they were disappointed I wasn't there and that they missed me after only a day apart. It makes me feel loved.
8. Getting to play with them everyday. I have learned that it is so important to enter into their world of play, and it is so fun.

9. Watching how a huge smile quickly lights up their face when they realize we get to go together back to a host family. That makes my heart skip.
10. I get to be one of the children's constants. I have had many hosts point that out lately- how important that role is for creating an environment that through the transition and travel makes the children feel safe and assured. I just love that- and I think it with every big smile that comes, the laughter that suprises me, the hugs that squeeze me, the questions that keep me on my toes, and every time they say "I love you" right back and I know they mean it.

"Home" again.

2010-09-22T10:13:00.000-04:00

I now call three different places home in a week. Going back to my host's house is "going home". Returning to the bus brings that same feeling of comfort that you get from sitting with an old frind who you never have to explain a thing to, or coming back to a place where you can just sit down, sigh, and be real. Many people who are meeting me for the first time here in the week ask where my home is and I tell them Ontario. 'Home' I believe isn't really a place persay, but a feeling of coming to a point of return to what you love, giving love, and feeling loved. If that is indeed the case, and I believe it is, then out on the long stretch of country raods in Kentucky I am home.

I am home, and I am also refreshed. It was my prayer that if God really wanted me to come back to tour that I would be refreshed about what is routine, excited for teaching and concerts, and mostly that my heart would really be open to loving a totally new and different group of children and team. My prayer has certainly been answered. I guess it is the same grace God gives teachers year after year to love the class they have for the year, and then let go, let them learn, and find their heart still just as open to the next group coming under their wing the next fall. I often think back to the children I met in Guatemala, and thank God for that experience, and for showing me that we have greater room within in us to simply love than we may have thought. I haven't once looked into the eyes of this new group of thirteen children I am an Auntie to and compared them to the other choir I toured with. There is nothing to compare. They are beatiful on their own, and each have their own unique personality and talents. And it is exciting to think in time to come I can look back on the years, and look back and be warmed by the thought of having two groups of African children who can extend my circle of family.

I will admit it felt strange at first to meet this new group of children at our base house in North Carolina where I spent the last month of tour with choir 32. It gave me an auwful heartache for the first week to be in a place of introductions in the same house I shared my final memories with children I knew so closely. But it is a reminder to the fact that relationships, close ones with deep roots, take our time. But the start of that doesn't take much- Deborah reminded me of that last week in our first host home. As she kept forgetting things to do before bedtime I would help her put away her headband, hand her the lotion, and remind her to get under the sheets. As I helped her she looked up to me and said
"Ah Auntie! THank you! You really love me...."
She then seemed to ponder that for awhile.
I've pondered that for awhile too since then.
All our little actions amount to showing love. And so here's to the months ahead, of learning which ways each of these children feel love the most, and then pouring affirmation, affection, and the compassion on them that will makes them realize they are uniquely loved.

Truths from Guatemala: Part 2

2010-08-18T17:57:00.000-04:00

3. True community rejoices with one another.
If you drive a couple hours away from Antigua you'll find the most real sense of the word 'community' you have ever seen. Our team stood on the new foundation for a home being built for a widow left with her orpahned grandchildren to care for. Wood and sheet metal began to be unloaded from the truck,and the eager footsteps of children drew close to see what we were doing. An oler woman hurried up to us and pulled me into a fast and strong embrace- the kind that holds you tight with love and reminds your heart of the srength there is to love. She hugged each one of us. Cried to each one of us in deepest gratitude. Pointed up to the skies, thanking God, claiming faith, and thanks for newfound hope in a new home.
When the house was finished, we asked the family to gather so we could welcome them home and bless them. I looked around at the family that stood inside the house with us- their gratitude rendering them speechless. But the woman who had hugged each one of us and wept in dear thanks for the home wasn't there, it was another woman who was the widowed grandmother of the orphans.

The lady we had all met earlier was her neighbour.

I am taken aback by that. To me that neighbour is the perfect illustration of what it really means, and furthermore what it really looks like, to rejoice in the joys of others. How often do we look down the street and look upon the neighbour that got the new porch, the retirment with secure pension, and the nicer car with envy?
I am guilty of the attitude of a skeptic. I was skeptical of how the neighbours of this village widow would feel as they watched their neighbour receive a new home while they still live in walls made of dried out cornhusks and mud? It's like comparing the poor, to the very poor, to the extremely poor- how can you cast such a comparison on abject poverty?

This was probably one of the stories that touched me the most- I thank the neighbour who so genuinely rejoiced with the happiness of her neighbours- and not because her act would be written about, let alone even seen by anyone else. But because she knew what it meant to love as a neighbour should, and to live in community as we are created for.

Truths from Guatemala: Part 1

2010-08-16T20:46:00.000-04:00

Friends, the best part about a story is that it gets to be shared. More than that, often I believe our stories need to be shared. For if we feel them in our heart but do not let our hearts share the burden of the stories that challenge us, then only one heart is broken. If there is a story of hope that stays only written in our journals then we keep the hope and light of the world within us, and leave the crowd's pereceptions of poverty as far away and dark. And when the story comes from far away and is indeed dark, then there is all the more reason to share. For if we share of the darkness, then awareness, perspective, and passion can meet and then into the darkness hope can be born. And so tonight, after a week serving those greatly devestated by the latest hurricane in Guatemala, I must write. For if only one other person reads these entries of stories, it will be one more person to know along with me and what I know in my heart. And so now the first lesson learned from the life stores I became apart of a couple weeks ago...
1. True love helps.
While in Guatemala we worked with a team of locals from the mission to build three homes for families who had been robbed of every earthly posession by the hurricane. A widowed grandmother lived with her 5 orphaned grandchildren in a shelter made of cornhusks. In their drinking water outside swam about a dozen little shiny orange fish the children laughed innocently over trying to catch in a pail. At another home parents had survived the hurricane and their family of about 6 lived sheltered under a roof thatched again of dried cornhusks. But the reason I titled this story as "True love helps" is not to be misunderstood as what we as a team did in building for them, but what the families of these homes did for us. If a man lived at the home he let not one opportunity to help us carry sheet metal for roofing, or hammer in nails pass him by. In the picture I have he is smiling, and the picture is candid. Real, full, smiles can't be practiced, his simply couldn't help but come out from within him when he was helping.

2. True Generostiy has no limits
As we finished the last touches of paint to the home, the eldest child came to me, patted me on the shoulder, and offered me a basket of chips and freshly bottled water to choose from. As I thanked her and reached for a bag, she says "not one, but two. You must take two." This girl and her family had nothing. Nothing that would furnish their home, not the money to send their children to school, no money for their toys or shoes...but as I took the chips I realized that real generosity doesn't hold anything back from its giving.

And then I ask myself how generous am I? What are my limits to giving? How much in the way of personal security and comfort do I need before I feel free enough to just give? What stops me from giving more? If I had more, and the key here is only after I had more, then could I give to others? The pastor of the church we attended in Guatemala said Sunday morning " Being rich is having enough for yourself and then some." We all have enough for ourselves. And now we all need to realize the "and then some part" Take less for ourselves, and give more without counting.

An e-mail I received tonight signed off with "I hope your heart continues to be softened. We all need softer hearts." I have come back to that e-mail over and over tonight- I leave you with these first stories, and will share more this week. May more hearts be softened.

Being intentional.

2010-07-14T21:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday a friend of mine brought in the obituary of her grandfather for me to read at work. It is strange to think that the journey of a whole life's worth of living can be summed up in 4 pointed and perfectly typed times new roman sentences. Looking at the newspaper what his summarized life didn't come down to was the adventures taken. Places the person went. What occupation they held. How much money they made. From reading I don't know what their home looked like, what they liked to do, or what their status was, all I know them by was who they loved and who loved them. After our last breath all we have left are our relationships. Isn't that all that really matters, all we've ever really had all along anyways?

The same friend at work asks me over to her place almost every week since meeting me. She is one of the many people that I think of as a great friend to me. It gets me thinking...what is it exactly that makes someone a great friend? In my thinking I believe it all comes down to being intentional about making time for each other. We need to be intentional in our relationships if they are to be the kind that grow us closer and deeper to someone.

I am a firm believer that we are blessed by the presence of certain people in our lives to support us, see us through, laugh with until it hurts, or cry with because life hurts so much for each season of our lives. At the end of each season there is always the bittersweet feeling of being ready to move forward but sad to leave the group you are with behind. I remember waking up the morning after my grade 8 goodbye party with fresh tears that blurred together pages of yearbook memories ome the slow, dawning realiztion that sharing life everyday with those friends was gone. I remember something similar happening at the goodbye party after highschool- a wave of nostalgia coming over me at times when I thought about the goodbyes I had said to people leaving to different Universities. And so the cycle continues to University, and then to tour, and then after tour...In hindsight most of the people I cried over leaving in grade school and highschool are no longer apart of my life. The same can be said for recent experiences too. So what makes a good friend? And what makes the kind of friend that spans the years of many seasons?

I don't believe it has to do with how close you live to someone. Tour taught me that the depth of a friendship is unchanged by distance. I don't believe it is shared circumstances that keep you close. Sometimes being in the same experience together is the only thing that gives you reason to appreciate someone you normally wouldn't even make the effort to come to know. When the season you have shared with someone has passed it is only being intentional about making time to talk, share, and continue to get to know someone that keeps you together.

Sometimes it comes easily, sometimes life just makes the effort a more concious one. But in the end I am reminded this week to make the effort. Make the phone call. More time to talk over coffee. Take time for your friends over your work. Relationships sustain life. Relationships are life. Pick up a paper and read over any obituary and imagine yours...how have you made the time to love?

Purpose redefined.

2010-06-28T20:55:00.000-04:00

I cannot go anywhere in life without music. A walk needs the beat of music. Music wakes me up in the morning (although it is a slow process I might add). I love writing in coffee shops because there is something soothing about the acoustic sound of the likes of Jack Johnson singing about making banana pancakes as background to conversation, a good book, or weaving thoughts together. Music makes a road trip more fun. Singing out loud makes you feel free. Singing at the top of your lungs is exhilarating. Music makes us remember. Come the most sorrowful moments in life- the death of a loved one, friend, the loss of soldier- we come together only by a song. Music is the only thing in common between a funeral and a wedding. It spans every emotion, and no matter how hard I try I cannot pin down that feeling I get through music to the space of this page. I wish I could adequately and eloquently express what music does to me- my soul- I try with words like “rivet” and “passion” and “stirring” and “soaring” and “love”...but none of them work. Sometimes the English language is so limiting. How can I use “love” to describe golden pineapple verses regular pineapple and describe music? It is rare I don’t have the words- after all I was the sole reason my family needed to call one of those awfully dry “family meetings” where we usually talked about chore schedules, to discuss getting a second phone line. I tried to express what music makes me feel in a reflection paper in grade 10, but my attempts ended up filling 3 pages of lined paper- only to read over it, and come the final page find my efforts to be futile. I thought tonight as I rediscover my passion for music that the ambiance of a coffee shop with everyone else working away to inspire me to work away, and the chai latte at hand, would be the perfect backdrop for another attempt at putting passion into words, into the computer, on the paper...but it’s not. So instead I share with you a story- in hopes that this will be one of those times where the story best illustrates why I love music. Why it is so valuable to dear life.
My youngest voice student at the moment is 10. I use the first lesson with my students to get to know them, and learn about what they like to listen to, why they’re taking lessons (hoping they don’t say because Mom made them), what they know about music, and what they want to accomplish by taking lessons. At our first lesson, my student came to me and told me that he couldn’t read music, and when I told him how helpful it would be to learn songs he hadn’t heard before, he said it was too hard. He said his mom wanted him to sing a solo in church after taking lessons, but he wasn’t sure that he could. For the first month he was too shy to sing out for fear that anyone else in the house would hear him. When I brought a piece for him to learn by reading notes he said it was too hard and he would never be able to do it. He would never sing in front of his family, and he would walk around always slightly hunched over and nervous.
This past week was his first recital. The day of I asked him how he was feeling, and he turned to me and says “Fine! We’ve been working on this piece for awhile and now that I know how to sing I know that I can do things. Tonight’s no big deal, it’s only for 100 people, and next week I sing for the talent show at school for 1000 people. I’ve never done that before, but now I know I can.”
That is why I love music. Not because studies show “it makes you smarter”, or better at math (I am living proof it does not), not because people like to listen to it, not because my student’s parents are happy, and not because I can be proud of him even though I am. It is because that child has a glowing confidence that believes in himself that wasn’t there before. Now “nothing is too hard” (a direct quote from him), and he can sing in front of people “no problem”.
Making music, sharing music, doesn’t need to be done so at the end of many pieces you can “become” something or hold a degree. In fact, I only ever decided to study music because then I would have dedicated four years of my life to something I love. Through my own experiences, my choir children, and my students now I can look back to see how it empowers people ...and I believe I have discovered that in itself is purposeful enough.

Life is not in the WHERE but in the WHAT.

2010-05-21T21:48:00.001-04:00

"Sometimes we don't always need to take the time to carefully pray over something for months. We don't need to pour ourselves into making every decision in life. If there is a place you can serve with a need you know needs to be met- just do it. Be there."

Our young adults leader carried on, I sat nodding in agreement from my seat. "Oh yeah" I thought "of course", "very true"...but I didn't always think this way. It has taken me months to get my head to catch up with my heart and affirm these words. Let me explain...

The first week I moved to Pickering I sent the Pastor of the church I have attended an e-mail to introduce myself and see if he was interested and able to partner with me in going to volunteer overseas, and in turn and in the meantime how I could partner with him and his church and be involved. When I stepped into his office he said "Laura when I first got your e-mail and read about your background in music my first thought was that I wanted to send you to Guatemala right away. We have lots of music need in Guatemala. But then I read on in your e-mail and saw that you were interested in going to Africa again."

"That's right." I can hear myself saying again. I remember thinking to myself "Guatemala? That's far fetched."

What were the real thoughts behind those words were this: I have just broken down the walls of comfort to be open to going back to serve in Africa. But Africa in a sense is what I already know, am already more familiar with. And so God had yes broken down my comfort zone to going back, but then I had created my own comfort zone for being overseas- Africa.

And I never thought about Guatemala again. Until last month it was announced in church that the young adults missions team needed just a couple more members to join them to work in Guatemala. All I could think of was the pastor's initial words to me "I wanted to send you to Guatemala, there is so much music need in Guatemala." Now I was ready to see that need again and realize that it is not about where I go to serve, but that I serve.

And so it is with great excitement and expectancy that I leave with a team of 9 others to Guatemala in the end of July. For the first time I feel excitment and peace over what is next and I am eager to be there, and most eager to just meet the children our team will be working with, running music with them, and meeting with the leadership staff at the school to catch their vision for music with these kids. Who knows what that vision looks like or if I will be called back again. But for now I have been broken again and am determined to be more open; because I can't help but wonder if the walls I put up, my comfort zone and my own ideas draw out the process of God working through me how He desires.

What's it gonna take to slow us down...to let the silence spin us around..? -Switchfoot

2010-03-17T15:44:00.000-04:00

Last week I was in beautiful, cherry blossoms blooming, crayon colour vibrant green, mountainous Oregon. Having found a really great ticket sale I went to visit Angela, one of my dearest friends from tour. I told her that what I really wanted to do together was hike a mountain. So much of our time was spent outside at the top of a mountain, overlooking a lake, atop green hills, beside waterfalls, looking out on the world. Most days we shared sitting together on the outskirts of life, looking down from a mountaintop view on the business of life in miniature scale. I love the same view from the plane- where the cars looks like only toys on a play mat, the houses small dollhouses that could be picked up between your fingers, and all the stresses, arguements, noise, and business of people completely quieted and hidden in simpleness.

"I love to be on what seems to be the outside of the world looking in. I imagine that's how God sees us, from a place where everything is quiet and peaceful and He can control life or stop a car crash with the flick of a finger." (Ang)

It must be how God sees the world. The author of 'The Shack' drew a simply lovely illustration of how God sees the people of the world. He imagined that God sees each person as a soul of glowing white. Each personality and unique make up of that person's character is a glow of a different hue. I imagine green being kindness, red pure of heart, yellow as strength and so on... It is so easy to get caught up in the noise of life, and make noise to mask the problems we don't want to face and the insecurities we don't want to work through in ourselves. I hope the words don't sound cliche or overdone, but how much more beautiful the world we live in would be if we could see the people around us in the colours of their positive character. Maybe then would the streetlights dim, the sound of our anger and pride die down, and so much of the tension from our selfishness and sleepwalking through the fast pace of life slow down to a point of mountaintop peace.

8. Always live in community

2010-03-17T13:33:00.000-04:00

As I engage and re-engage with solitude I rediscover my essential connection and desire to be in community with others. Walking into church a couple Sundays ago a sense of warmth rushed over me from entering the door into a community of people. Less and less I try to unveil the mystery of God's will for my future with worry.There is a story to live by an author where by my His radiance my own imagination pales in comparison. I am allowing my heart to be stirred with the excitement that comes in confirmation that He wants me to be serving at the church I am trying to make home. "Make thoughtful decisions" I once read, "but don't consume so much time thinking over a choice over how to help and where to do so when you could just be out there serving." Serving is for a lifetime, the process of discerning just where and how isn't. On Sunday confirmation to being here came in the Pastor's words, "God sent Laura to our church", when introducing me to the children I am running a children's choir for now. The workings of God seem to become more real when someone else sees you as divinely sent to them. The experience is so different from that of my time rehearsing the choir, the children I have now cannot really stay on key or match a pitch or tune- but more importantly than that is what these children need...and that is to be needed. It is more important that they gain the confidence and see for themselves that they can lead a church in worship, and that bridges of song connect these younger ones to the church body.

I love children and their child-like faith...with that thought come two stories, the first being a prayer by one of the little boys in the choir.

"Dear God help us learn this music for Easter. We do not have a lot of time to know the songs and we have never sung a song for the church. And so God can I be honest with you? I'm scared God because it is new. But in the Bible you say that you will always be with us and you will never leave us. So I know that we are going to be good. Amen"

The second one comes from one of the most energetic girls in the group. She comes to me today saying that her family volunteered to clean the church on Friday and she snuck off to the practice room to where all the words for our songs are posted on the board to practice. "I'm so ready for Sunday. But don't worry, I practiced lots so I am better and I didn't sing for my parents yet...I want it to be a suprise on Easter!" She glowed with confidence and then cocked her head at me, smiled, and gave my a huge hug.

Today I added "always live in community with people" on my list of lifetime goals. I don't know the future from here, but God has showed me where to be for the now- and may that be all I need.

What I learned while drinking coffee...

2010-02-14T02:18:00.000-05:00

What I learned while sharing over coffee in visiting my supporters from London this past weekend:

1. Everyone can be lonely.
I was once told that writing down all your fears would help you see all the things that you put up as obstacles to fully living your life. I'm afraid of tornados, but that doesn't count. It takes you awhile to get started on what fears are very real, but once you start thinking, getting past even the initial fear of seeing yourself so vulnerable and get writing, then the page fills up easily. At the top of my list is being lonely and alone in life. I fully acknowledge that it is one of my greatest fears of doing long term missions work- moving into a different culture where nothing is familiar and there is not even one close friend, right there, to share the transition, beautiful and bad, with. I asked my friend Beth who has served in Thailand for almost 4 years if she was ever lonely. "Of course!" she said. The first year of her work there she described as the hardest year of her life. But then she said that when she came home after living there for 2 years she talked to some of her closest friends still living in the same city who surrounded by the familiar and more company were lonely. Loneliness isn't a phenomenon that can only be experienced when you live far away. Everyone is lonely when there is a lack of doing good and a lack of relationship with God. But here at home it is less evident when it is easily satisfied with food, phone calls, friends, media, entertainment, careers, or just noise.

2. Transition is easier than you think.
I asked a long standing friend and supporter, Diane, what the hardest part about living in Africa for a year was for her time there. "Coming home" she answers. I kind of just sat there for awhile looking at my coffee trying to understand it. I didn't think her answer really answered my question...it wasn't actually about living in Africa at all, but that was the hardest part? She interrupts my thoughts..."You transition easier than you think Laura. If you don't highly value North American comforts like having running water at your finger tips and a hot shower- if you are the kind of person who living with the easy access to everything isn't what you live for." Well then, you take maybe 3 months to get comfortable with this new lifestyle, and you've grown away from the things you "needed". But then the hardest thing is coming back home and realizing it only takes one day to go back to your luxury life in Canada as it were.

3. People will support you for a good cause.
I don't know where the idea came from that people wouldn't want to support me and make the commitment to help me prayerfully and financially once again with where God places me next. From guilt in asking for support? From not believing in myself to be able to fulfill God's purpose? A dear family friend told his daughter when she asked her Dad why he didn't want to spend money on celebrities, supporting their records, buying magazines on their lives, that he would rather support "Miss Laura" (as I have always been known to their little girl as) because with his support and money I can make a difference for other people.

4. God has big plans for all our lives.
As I said goodbye to my Mom's bible study ladies group after sharing over a night of desserts and tea one of the ladies turns to me, studies me for a moment, and then says "Laura- God has big plans for your life. I just know it." I've been thinking about that...I think God has mighty plans for how he wants to use each of us for His glory and in His service. It gives me an anxious and excited feeling...

5. I can easily become overwhelmed.
Sometimes my missions pastor tells me "that sounds scattered Laura." Often since moving to Pickering I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I'm going down a track and running towards a vision and with a passion and then suddenly I feel overwhelmed the next day with life. I've come to see in myself that this is only when my thoughts become scattered. I hear about one amazing opportunity, five different ways people are serving in Africa, a handful of amazing organizations giving a voice and hope to children, think of all the wonderful places there are to travel, and all the different things I could do and want to pour myself into all of them. Then my vision gets stretched in too many different directions and I feel overwhelmed because I can't do it all. Although I wish I could. I wish life was 5 times as long and I could volunteer for everything and everywhere. Instead, I need to make the most of the one chance I get at life, and not let all the opportunities overwhelm and scatter my thinking from the course I'm on.

6. I am overwhelmingly loved and blessed by it.
There is a support network who have been faithful to me throughout tour and are ready and willing to support me again when the time comes. I have a handful of people who take me out, care for me, and take pride in what I do as if I was their own daughter. I don't know what I have ever done to deserve it. I only know I haven't done anything, but rather it is the grace of God that has.

God illustrations in the dark

2010-02-01T15:45:00.000-05:00

I have never liked highway driving at night.

Driving back from going to see a Rascal Flatts concert with my sister late last Thursday night I began to feel that same sense of nervousness make me tense as Heather slept and I started down the highway. Late at night with only my thoughts to keep me awake I began to wonder why the highway in the dark, on the clearest of evenings always makes me uneasy. I've had my license since I was 16, my mind reasons...unlike driving on tour I know where I'm going... I've never been in an accident...it isn't even snowing, I have insurance...Logically, I know I am safe. I know that, but my heart is always still a flutter. Passing through well lit cities along the highway and then going back to the long stretches of darkness, driving through a couple patches of flurries trying to stay in the cars headlights infront of me to see more clearly and then speeding up again as the snow clears I pray for safety and it dawns on me. I like to see the stretch of road ahead of me. I like to be able to see the next bend in the road over the horizon instead of trusting that my headlights will guide me through the small illuminated area four white stripes long on the road right before me.

That's the way it is between me and God lately living in the mystery of his will. Do you know the old song "thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path"? The song doesn't say "a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my life" if it did there would be no reason for faith, trust and suffering with him. Most of the world woke up today and didn't even know if they would be able to eat today. I woke up and worried over if I will find a job in the next month and how long I would stay in it. If I could always see my life like I do the stretch of highway in the day then I would never have to rely on Him and have Him central to my decision making in life. God gives us enough light for our feet- the step ahead, the move we make day by day. But I find myself always wanting to be able to see past that- just like wanting to see past the little light my headlights shine in the dark. But both light is sufficient. In both I am safe and I have enough. What I do need is to turn worry into prayer, and more and more trust, again and again.

The biggest truths in the smallest stories

2010-01-22T14:12:00.001-05:00

Last Sunday I met female disciple Tabitha at Safe Haven Church that I've started going to, in Acts, chapter 9, in a sermon on compassion. Pastor Martin talked about the difference between pity and compassion. He said that pity is a heavy burdened heart for someone in a hard/sad situation...but that is where is stops. But compassion extends a hand to reach out to someone past the point of pity. At this point the Pastor turns to people and just shouts: "SLOW DOWN AND HELP PEOPLE!"

How often have I heard this sermon? What does it take for one to reach out after being moved? We can sit in church and be moved by his words, but yet we come back to the same seat next week and don't even know the names of the people that sit beside us. I call myself a Christian, I claim to love my neighbours, and yet I don't even know my neighbors names. How much does the Pastor have to raise his voice, and shout because he so badly wants us on this Sunday to "get it" and live it?

This past Tuesday I took the subway into downtown Toronto to meet with a friend I haven't seen in months. For the first time since moving here I was in a rush as I tried to get from the OHIP office to Starbucks. I ran with the crowd at the crossover to the Bloor line and stopped for all of a heartbeat to watch a staggering hungover woman struggle...no, I shouldn't make this sound nice...flailing around, smash her head into the wall, spilling her coffee everywhere. I looked- and just as quickly turned away and caught the subway.

As soon as I sat down on the train I had this sinking feeling as I realized just what I'd done- exactly what Pastor Martin told us not to do.

If I was in Africa, Asia, the Ukraine...I would have stopped to help her- in fact, it probably would have been shared as a heart touching story, or snapped as a brochure cover for some great humanitarian organization. But in my own neighborhood? I was too busy again.

I arrived at Starbucks 5 minutes early. That's all it would have taken for me to help her stand up and walk to somewhere out of a dirty stairwell where she could have sat down and had something to eat and a simple glass of water. I had time. In fact, in the stories that immediately come to mind in the bible that illustrate compassion- Jesus, the good samaritan, they were both headed somewhere. They didn't just aimlessly wander around looking for random acts of kindness- they had their own day and schedule ahead of them, people following them, and people to meet. But they had time. And so either way you look at it, I had time too... 5 minutes early, or even if it meant being 15 minutes late- I had time.

And so I thought I could check off the "not busy" part of the sermon as I look at my life and try to plant my feet here serving, being in relationships and community. But in a mere few days I lost it and became a failure once again to the Christian love Pastor Martin shouted about. I wouldn't even call it pity that came across me, but only pitiful.

...And so I wonder, what does it take to hear but then act?

Time In Between...

2010-01-15T15:07:00.000-05:00

I've been walking the streets of Pickering this week, getting this girl with no sense of direction oriented to my new city to the tune of Francesca Battistelli. Her lyrics seem to always have this uncanny ability, on any given day, to capture where I find myself. Today it is in the "Time in between... That I fall down to my knees...Waiting on what You'll bring...And the things that I can't see...I know my song’s incomplete...Still I'll sing in the time in between."

Oh, I'm singin' alright...loud and clear down the streets of Pickering, much to the humour of others on the sidewalk of that I'm sure...trusting God to this time of transition- being in the middle of a tour that has finished and what is next in life. I have come very accustomed to, and often avoid the question "What is next?" Not because I don't have an idea of what I want to do now that tour is over, but because the question doesn't ask for what is before then- this time of preparation.

And it's for that reason that I still want to keep blogging. Last night talking to a dear friend she asks "was it you that said you wanted to blog every week?" Admittedly, and if you could see me right now with a sheepish look on my face, I know that I haven't done that faithfully. But writing here once or twice a week is part of my list of goals for this time in between. Since being home, processing, and going to Urbana (the largest missions conference in N. America) I have a better idea of what I want to live for, and now want to keep writing the vision of getting there.

Part of my inspiration for getting there comes from author Donald Miller, who says to think in narrative rather than goals, for goals will get met in the journey of the story. A story involves wanting something. I want to go back to work long term in Uganda- living for a mission that brings hope to children by developing their potential and confidence through both education and the arts. Another want...
I want to design a music education/music therapy program to work with Ugandan children, specifically children that were former child soldiers and are child mothers.

The second part of God giving us the pen and writing out our story says Miller is to envision a climatic scene- see it, imagine what it looks like, smells like and sounds like to keep it real. And so I start to work towards being surrounded once again by the most genuine joy I have ever felt of living with, forming relationships, and teaching children in their context- a culture that is beautifully relational.

Lastly, Miller says that we need inciting incidents in life- we need to solve new problems, work towards that vision and get moving! And so for those of you wondering..."So, what are you doing now?" This is what I'm working on to get me there...
1. I'm going to start by taking a course called perspectives- a 15 week discipleship course. I've lived many different experiences, but also want to get the education now on missions, different cultures, and examining missions throughout the context of the bible.
2. I'm working on gaining a support network here in Pickering, and planting myself in a home church that I can partner with, and most importantly right now that I can jump in and serve with! More to come after Sunday in my I PROMISE weekly updates this time!
3. Improving my own music skills- I'd like to volunteer at a Toronto hospital with a music therapist and take a course in Kodaly. (For those of you wondering what is this? Imagine yourself in clothes made out of old drapes in a horse drawn carriage singing along "do re me..." with Maria in the Sound of Music and Kodaly is that system of teaching music!)

I'm so glad for you reading this and following with me- life blesses you with wonderful friends and then with each new chapter scatters them near and far. Thank goodness for places like this where with the click of a button we can be together in thought.

" Worry and regret are like twin theives"

2009-11-20T20:59:00.000-05:00

Right now I'm in one of my reflective moods. I hope that I haven't lost my many strains of thought as I've just jumped up and down to re-heat my cup of tea, which I kept forgetting to actually retrieve from the microwave, to keep me warm in the night air on the back porch of Mirembe.
Tonight Angela did a devotional on regret and living in the moment. Usually I try to ponder my words before I type them- make sure they sound eloquent and flowing...but tonight I fear that if I don't just blurt out my immediate thoughts and ponderings to this page I will loose them.
Regret, living in the moment, taking each moment as it comes- consciously making an effort to realize that once it is gone it is lost...these are all very appropriate as we reflect, prepare to debrief, and try (going in circles it often seems) to process this tour. But tonight I realized something...since being at this house, since the countdown until the end of tour began I have stopped living in the moment. One of my most precious momentos for tour was a scrapbook my Mum put together- a narrative and keepsake of all the times we've shared together as family before I left for tour. At the end of the book is a short story called "The Station"- an illustration on the paradoxes of time. I remember being surprised when my mom explained why she'd included that story. She said that I am one of the few people she knows who live in the moment- who enjoys the minutes, as I live in the minutes, day by day...and that most people can't. I was surprised. I'd never thought or recognized that of myself...but my friends agreed. But tonight I realized something big. Since coming to Mirembe I have left the moment. Taking time to play with the kids because I know that in 28 days I won't be able to. Reading with them because soon the chance will be gone. Filling and sometimes cramming our time together into schedules to make sure I talk with them, use my time with them, play with them, frantically continue to get to know them....but tonight it hit me. It isn't for now. The soccer games on Saturdays, the chai tea and books at playtime- it hasn't been because I've wanted to share that with they be it today or yesterday...but because I know that next month it will be gone. I have not allowed myself to fully enjoy those moments because I have honestly been too busy trying to savour them, dearly hold onto them for fear of loosing them. Ironically. when we do that I have come to realize in the stress and bittersweet emotions, that a moment cannot simply be treasured, cherished, and sweet if we are already mourning its loss.

So thank you Ang for your staff devotions tonight. As I reflect on the time past, you have helped to reawaken me to what it truly means to live in the moment. I want to find myself there again...

p.s- a sweet quote I don't want to forget from this morning from Peace: "Auntie Laura, do you know why I am hugging you so much these days? It is because soon I won't be able to when I miss you."

from Mirembe...

2009-11-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

It was my goal on tour to blog every day off. Today is my first official day off at Mirembe house- for a very rare and still moment everything is completely quiet here this morning as the kids are in the house across from me doing school. I can faintly hear the strains of Steve playing his guitar, and if I really listen outside my little world of writing than I can enter into the sounds of the rustling leaves being blown in the heavy winds outside. I did put one of my music albums from itunes to play but just realized the computer volume is on mute. But I don't mind this morning- I'll keep the peace and easy silence for now.

Do you remember those fridge posters that try and illustrate optimism? Remember...they're the kinds of posters that have "I can't stand the person who sings loudly and off key behind me in church."...but then it counteracts that with "But I am fortunate to be able to hear." This morning as I was trying to sleep in after a busy and sometimes overwhelming feeling week with leading symphony rehearsals. I kept trying to push past the clock with every noise I could hear from the girls getting ready, girls coming into the room with questions, and the noise of 21 children downstairs eating breakfast and getting ready to start the day...and then this morning as I came downstairs to peace and quiet and a good cup of tea I thought- thank God I have a full house of children surrounding me. My time with them is short from here- and I am fortunate to have the energy of children fill this place of rest in North Carolina.

I have loved watching them play and being part of their world of play this past week. When we first arrived after performing our last church concert we spent a week in "camp mode". No school. No rehearsals. Just play. Movies, soccer games, walks to the lake to sit on the docks and read and draw and talk together, and a morning run with 8 of the boys who've been eagerly convincing me they are in good shape to do the run to the lake with me. (And they were!) Probably my highlight from camp week- we run to the lake, (while having the most entertaining conversation that I only wish I could remember every word of), and when we get to the lake completely hot and sweaty Hanny asks if he can go in the water. At this point I start to answer "Yes, but..." Hanny in his eager anticipation of my answer only hears my "yes" and runs full speed ahead, fully clothed into the water and starts to cup the water in his hands and throw it over his head in utter joy. The other boys quickly follow, running quickly in the water and bobbing up and down trying their best to get all wet as fast as possible. Nelson at this point says "Well if they are going to be silly, I will be silly too!" At that point it didn't matter that my "yes" was going to be followed by "but only to your ankles". We had too much fun. 8 very wet hugs later we headed back to the house for lunch, and dried off with a soccer game in beautiful sunshiney weather that afternoon.

Although camp is over, I want to be sure to create more of these memories with the kids. I've been frustrated with feeling like I have so much musical work I need to do that I don't have the time to just be with the children- I just need to remind myself- the work always gets done and I want to be sure to make the time for play. More pots of tea with the kids, games on the porch, cooking together, walks...And next week's day off I'll add to that list.

over and over singing thanks...

2009-10-29T23:07:00.000-04:00

Somehow this week brings October to an end, and with it our last 3 concerts. There is a countdown on the bus that will say 3 days until we reach Mirembe house when we start our drive tomorrow. There is a plane ticket now booked for December 17th in my name to take me home from Chicago. There are less than 2 months left in tour, and already looking back on the evening as I get ready for bed am wondering how time so quickly stole one of those evenings with the girls...

Sometimes when I get behind in writing I put it off more and more to a time where I feel like I will be able to catch you up. Unfortunately as time goes on I just feel as though I've stored up an even larger collection of memories and for fear of forgetting some want to at least make note of some of them even if it doesn't bring you completely up to date.

In the final weeks in host families I feel very blessed. I will surely leave the memories I have in host homes with some lasting impressions of true generosity. Two weeks ago the host I stayed with who gave us the money to buy Scovia's new jeans and sweater that I wrote about the next morning gave a gentle knock on my door to ask if she could come in that morning to talk. Seated on my bed she told me that she had $700 cash left from her mother who recently passed away and would like to forward the cash on to us to use that "the rest of your kids and get what they need off the wish list and you can pick it out best." I was blown away. Again and again, over and over, I am blown away, and we are uplifted and carried on the wings of these generous spirits.

Linds and I went on the biggest shopping spree of my life the next day and had a blast filling carts in Old Navy imagining who could fit into and look good in which pants and shirts...we found new Sunday dresses for the girls and the lady at the store gave us a 40% discount as soon as she found out we were from the African Childrens Choir.

The next church we performed at fond out we needed winter jackets for the children. That afternon they asked for sizes and after writing them down, 2 hours later one of the staff from the church came to me asking if I wanted to "go out and see them". So I go out to their car thinking I am going to "see them" at the store and we will drive over together, but no- they had bought them that afternoon and were quickly showing me 21 new winter jackets and hats. I later walked up to the man who put this all together to thank him- to which his attitude was that of "Laura- some things you just have to do. This is one of them. I just knew in my heart I had to do it. I didn't really have the money for it but any parent with a child in this church knows the importance of keeping them bundled up and warm here. I'm sure if we ask around for people to help purchase one coat that has been bought we can come together." Not half an hour later he had 9 coats sponsored, and within the hour all 21 were covered.Thanks to just this past church stay we now have scarves for all the kids, and some made for all the chaps too

"these are always your stories" people and friends say...and I agree with them- it is "unbelievable".

Going to bed on a good day...

2009-10-15T22:36:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in awhile I know...a part of me holds off on some evenings when I have the time and the internet- holding out for some big special event or story. I don't know when I started waiting for those times...today, peeking into the girls room for hugs when I got in from clothes shopping with Lindsey was just one of those small moments that all put together create one of those all around good feeling days.

My host gave me money to go shopping with to get items off our wish List, and so with Lindsey's car we drove to the Old Navy sales and had so much finally getting to pick out the clothes for our kids ourselves! Dear Scovia so badly needed new jeans, and so we looked through all the different ones to find a pair with flowers knowing how much she would love them. It is quite rare that we actually get to do the picking out- and it was so fun! One big successful bag full of good deals later I got back to the house where the girls had just said prayers and had quietly lied down to rest. My host was waiting up for me to have the chance to visit, but I just felt like tonight I had to tell her to just wait a moment as I really wanted to hug those girls before bed. I snuck into their room and whispered their names only to be met with two preciously huge smiles. I quickly jumped in the middle of the bed and lied down to tell them I just had to hug them goodnight and asked if they'd like to see the clothes I'd been able to find. I told them I would bring them into bed and we'd look through them together there- they were so so excited and quickly pull up the covers to their chins as they sit up and settle in to see. When I got to Scovia's new jeans I told Lillian to hop out of bed and hold them up, and then I told Scovia to cover her eyes and wait till the count of three to open them and see her new pants. This is an image I will never forget...

Scovia jumped a foot of the bed and squealed the most delighted, purely joyful scream. Her absolute delight caught me off guard and just tugged at somewhere deep in my heart...a year later of watching these children receive and I was for a moment completely choked up and close to tears as she frantically ran around in excitement to try them on. She then runs into the bathroom to try them on and then comes running back into the bedroom announcing frantically " Oh no! I forgot to bring my underwears to try them on! Oh oh, do I travel without underwear? No! I must get them for trying them on!" After such a confident announcement it kind of cracked me up that she then shyly grabs the underwear and tries to hide them!

As I tucked them in again once the bedtime fashion show excitement had died down, they eagerly tell me that they made me a pot of chai tea and set it for me at the table to have when I came home so that I would "have your tea you love when you get in!"

2 more bedtime hugs later- I love these kids. What an all around good day.

p.s- I thought I'd post some pics from my last stay where I did an impromptu fashion show with the girls (Racheal, Esther, Immaculate) of all the clothes in my suitcase...figuring there aren't many moments left (and that we should always take the chances when we get them) I decided to enter their play and dress up too...in their clothes! Another one of those just genuinely good nights together.

Both nights I have called Ang to start off the conversation each time with "Oh Ang...I just had to call and tell you about what a good night it was!......"

We have only 10 more stays with host families until we reach Mirembe house. May we always make the most of our moments together- the end is bittersweetly so soon. I think I will take inspiration from Angela's night with her girls and wake up a bit earlier to set up a fancy tea for the girls breakfast tomorrow...

friends and canoes

2009-09-26T15:42:00.000-04:00

No one can quite imagine what it is like to stay in so many different host homes in one year- just this past week with more concerts I’ve slept in 6 different beds. Julius just asked me if Ohio and Michigan are close to our stays in Texas…as I tried to help him visualize how far south Texas is from where we are right now, it was just a reminder to me of how far we’ve come- how many people we’ve met since then…how to each of them it is an opportunity uniquely theirs, and although the memories I have because of each host is different, being in someone’s home has become very routine by now.

Months and months ago now I stayed with an elderly widowed woman for an evening after a Friday night concert. She was the most insightful host to what the hard parts and realities of tour must really be like. I remember her hugging me before bed and asking “Excuse me dear, can I tell you something? I hope I am not being too personal, but I have just been thinking that tour could be a very lonely experience for someone. You are welcomed into someone’s home four times a week, answering the same questions, and never fully having someone get to know you. I can imagine that without good friends on your team that could be a very hallow experience, as much as it is a wonderful one and a blessing. I am sorry if I’ve said to much of what I’ve been thinking about and observing, but I just wanted to say that I hope you really form close relationships- hold them close, and may they be strong for you. I think what you’re doing is wonderful, but I couldn’t imagine it without the close friends to come back to after staying in my home.”

That woman had a wonderful sense of hindsight and insight about her. She is also very true- I remember talking about this at welcome weekend….just talking over life on the road when the initial glamour of it and spark so to say has dimmed. We talked about spiritual health- how to make sure you are being poured into when you will rarely attend church as you are always the main event on a Sunday morning.

To be honest I have always felt abundantly and deeply blessed with the friendships I have. There is a card at home that I want to frame someday that has 3 friends holding each other close out of the rain under a small umbrella. The quote on top says “it doesn’t matter where you are and what you do, it is your friends that make your world.” On tour, it could be very lonely- there is no one else that can quite understand what makes tour so wonderful and joyous and difficult all at the same time. As you travel with such a close knit team the people who you draw strength and energy from are the same people that may hurt you and frustrate you, and the same children that may sometimes make you want to pull your hair out, are the same ones you love so deeply and have given you a childlike spirit and utter joy.

I reassured that dear woman that morning that I left her place that indeed I am blessed by some wonderful friends as we travel. I thought that again as I enjoyed one of the best days off with two of my closest friends Ang and Patrick. In Mt. Pleasant for the day, we walked the morning through the park- I love that fall is finally here to change the leaves and cool off the weather! We found a farmers market and enjoyed the morning picking up multiple loaves of pumpkin bread for an afternoon picnic, and picked a quart of fresh raspberries for the picnic…but they got eaten on a picnic table instead. That afternoon we packed up all the pumpkin loaves for a canoe ride down the Chippewa River. It was beautiful- I love being on the water- so peaceful, and having the whole day to just enjoy and share in the company of my two dear friends.

p.s- we only bottomed out in the shallow water a couple times….and about 20 minutes in I’d say were a lot better at avoiding crashes into the trees!!

Before bedtime thoughts...

2009-09-08T22:37:00.000-04:00

Tonight I don't know how many thoughts of mine I will be able to weave together...I must admit that my second wind of the evening seems to be fading and I am feeling quite tired. It has also been awhile since I wrote and I do want to. Sometimes I look back on the notes I jot down on the small saying and memories that bless my day and I am so thankful that I kept a record of them to remind me of all the simple joys in life. Angela wrote me the sweetest card today and recounted so many fun memories of our times shared together over this past year. She had written of both the simple life and the adventurous life we journey on together. Tour is full of change, new people, new places, lots of seeing, doing, and much more feeling than I ever have felt before. I believe we both said this past week that we have never loved more deeply or hurt so deeply all within the span of one year. But amidst all the excitement of such an opportunity as this it really is the simple life that brings me the most wonderful memories to recount later on nights like tonight where I don't have the energy to do much else but scroll through pictures, think, and just be remembering...

A couple jot notes from this week that I don't want to forget:

- The kids got new backpacks from our Friday night church in Detroit. The next day when the kids brought them onto the bus I was explaining to Mo what the circular part of the backpack is that holds headphones. He is so excited by the fact that his great new bag can hold a CD player and earbuds that he says "I will never take my eyes off my great new bag for the rest of the ride!" He was so excited- smiles all around and many "this is my best day ever!" and more "I love my big! This is my best bag ever!" it made me think back to my back to school shopping and my generous parents who would help me out with the nice new binders and fun looking colourful notebooks I felt I just had to have. I remember excited but guiltily walking out of Staples around $100 later on new school things...that's just the way it went for school shopping. Seeing the kids just fit with the idea of "the simple life" Really, a reminder that it doesn't take much.

- The kids also got new Sunday shoes (Being a Mum for a couple kids is going to seem so simple after fitting 22 children for new dress shoes in under an hour!) especially for the girl who despises shoes shopping! But our kids are now decked out and looking smart in their new Sunday clothes. Saturday night looked like this: 1. Girls get into the host home 2. take off shoes and are shown their room 3. Take out their bags to find their new Sunday clothes and set them all out for the next morning all within 3 minutes of being there! (I'll have to take some pics soon...they are super cute)

We had our African manager, Abraham, and Andrew visit within the past couple weeks too- it is always so great to have people visit. Andrew's parents were able to come which was particularly special- the children have prayed for his father's health all this past year fervently.

Abraham challenged the children and our team to really persevere to the end and keep the big picture in mind the whole way. "To be an Auntie or Uncle to these children is for life" he said. "it isn't just for this one year, this one chapter of their lives, it is forever. Your love and involvement, interest, and prayer and guidance over and commitment to their lives, although in a different shape and form, continue on after tour. You were brought into each others lives for this year and from here on, to carry on that relationship for always.

What's been on my mind most lately is the word 'perseverance'. In a just a moment I am sure September will slip away from me just like August did and I'll just be left wondering how it is even posssible. And so for the mere months left I want to never give up trying, loving, disciplining, discipling...Today reminded me of that. As poor Christopher sturggled so much in school. In the morning working with him seemed hopeless, but then after having him sit out and encouraging him later when he was less frustrated with himself he did so well for the rest day and it was the most productive and focused I have ever seen him. Pour out all your energy and it will never be in vein. And when it seems so have patience and persevere. That's what I've been learning lately.

And now I must be off to bed, I am surprised the contacts even made it this long! I guess that it is only when you start to really dig through your thoughts and sift through emotions that you begin to see just how much can collect there over time to think over...

climbing sand dunes...

2009-08-24T22:48:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when there are so many good things to look forward to I find it so hard to live in the moment. I'm enjoying myself so much at the time that my mind races ahead to the next thing and then the something after that...when there's just so many great things at once or to follow I just can't seem to help myself! I'm reading such a great booked right now called "Too small to ignore"- on the importance of children. Not just because they are our future and who they will become and how they will greatly be of influence, but for how they are of influence NOW, and how they are valuable NOW as the children they are. I wanted to write down a brief part of one chapter:

"But on one scale, they are fully equipped from birth and are on par with every proud adult. What is this scale? They have as uch time as anyone else. Twenty-four hours each day, 168 hours each week- children enjoy the full allotment given to us all.
Of course, they don't know it as such. Their gift of time is subconscious. They certainly do not know how to measure time and thus how to allocate it scientifically. They keep no datebooks of palm pilots to tell them what should happen next.
Early in children's lives big people endeavor to teach them how to tell time...but while the science of telling time is difficult, the daily enjoyment of time by children proceeds unhindered Only gradually do time constraints start to make an impact."

These kids remind me of that- there is always time to play, there is always time to make something mundane and routine play, there is always time to be together without watching the clock for the next activity, the next something...

It's just one of the many lessons that these children re teach me, and what this tour has shown me. We were not meant to live the North American life of being "too busy" that has somehow become so glorified- we need more to just breathe, enjoy, wonder, and simply relax.

There were so many good moments to enjoy in this one evening. Our hosts took Sarah, Rose, and I to climb huge sand dunes and for a picnic and campout bbq. While my hosts did all the picnic preparations I tried to keep up with the girls (too quick) pace up the dune, but I did a great job after reaching the top keeping up with them on the race back down! (I got beat out by the energetic toddler climbing up beside me but felt some reassurance in the two 10 year olds who fully collapsed halfway and just rolled in the sand)
Running down sand dunes for the night with two precious 8 year olds screaming, holding your hand, chasing you, and yelling at the top of their lungs in sheer excitement as their feet carried them uncontrollably downhill is one of the most carefree feelings.

Lydia, Scovia, and Ang joined us at the end of our picnic and ran a couple more times with us- Lydia took the jello from our picnic as her "mountain snack", conveniently needing a rest break every 10 seconds for a piece of purple jello square. Scovia turns to her and accusingly says "Lydia. Are you a snacker?" I mean really, taking on the same concerned tone as if she was asking someone "are you a smoker?" Quite funny. Sometimes I wonder if all the children I've ever met have ever made me laugh and smile so much.

One good thing after another, we went to the lake and swam- one of my ultime favourite feelings is to jump the waves- even better with 2 girls jumping with you clinging like little monkeys to your side!

After putting the girls to bed my host treated me to Moomoos icecream- a local icecream store on a dairy farm. Everything is home made and it was voted best icecream in the entire nation- I can no say I have enjoyed a waffle cone of the best white chocolate raspberry creamy iceceam in the nation! And I say goodnight to you now, already looking forward to when I wake up and get to enjoy my day off by the beach and in downtown Traverse City!

Deja vu?

2009-08-05T17:38:00.001-04:00

Read back to Saturday October 11, 2008 when we had just driven into beautiful Appleton Wisconsin in the fall. Half the choir lived within one block of each other, and my hosts in Appleton gave the kids their first fireworks and s'mores experience. Just short of a year ago later- last week found us reuinted with our same host families from this church! Pulling into the parking lot was surreal in an experience where nothing apart from the tour family I live with is ever familiar. I could remember "that parking lot where the kids placed soccer", "that area outside of the church we met at as a staff deciding how to explain halloween", "that part of the grass where little Raceal and I ran accross the parking lot at full speed to collide into each other with hugs"....I recounted with Angela that afternoon how strage it was- looking at that church, remember in detail the concert, how we celebrated hers and Lindsey's birthday there, and looking back on how much has changed. How we have gone from originally a team of 10 to now a team of 7. I can picture the children playing soccer from mental photographs and I can't believe how much they've grown. And then I can picture myself there too- where I was at, the lessons I'm still learning, but the many ways in which I've grown and changed too.

My host family asked me as we eagerly spent the drive home catching up on each others lives my plans for next year. Last October I wouldn't have been able to answer that at all, and now I could talk with her about how tour has grown passions within me I never fully saw before, and the incredible sense of joy I've felt from working relationally with the kids, children, and using music with them. On the ride home she asked how San Fransisco with Josh Groban went- I had to rewind the memories of tour to last November- last November! It seems so far away now, but I had just found out I would be going to San Fransisco when I met this host in Appleton. It made me stop and slowly playback the highlights of tour so far in my mind. When you live day in and day out with someone you easily forget how much you've been through together, and really just how close you have become.

That night Lillian, Gladys (the same girls I'd had before at this stay), and Lydia now too, as well as Esther and Racheal who stayed right next door with Ang came over for paddleboat rides on the pond behind their home. Later that night Patrick and his boys joined us too for boating and smore making too. My hosts still had the picture frames the girls had made with their pictures inside on the fridge, and a photo of all of us on the mantle to remember us in prayer. The girls were so suprised that the hosts still "remember my name! And have my picture up!" as Lillian put it. I thought about how neat it must be for these hosts as we snapped more group pictures that night to be able too see us all again and to also be able to measure the growth they've seen in these children as well.

After the girls were in bed Ang, Patrick, and I went for a long walk together- it isn't until I'm in the country and can walk around at night by a path lit solely by stars that I miss the vast open sky of the country, otherwise covered up by skyscrapers of city skylines. I finished the night around the fire with two of my closest friends, talking late into the night as flames from marshmallow roasting died into fllickering embers.

rest stop

2009-08-02T00:58:00.000-04:00

People stop and ask me questions when we stop for bathroom breaks as we travel all the time. Most of the time it catches me off guard - how do you know I'm traveling with 22 African children? Oh yes, I remember- I am clearly labeled with a massive ACC logo covering my chest and, the logo on my jacket (yes a jacket- it is getting cooler...but I also fear that no Canadian winters and a winter in Texas has left me a wimp!) Anyways, today as Ang and I brought up the must try Wisconsin cheese curds to the cashier the lady at the till asks:
"Where are you performing?"
us: " Well, we just did a performance in Fish Creek, and now we're headed to Washburn to do a concert Sunday evening."
"So where are you from then- Fish Creek or Wisconsin?"
to this we smiled "Neither- the children are from Uganda" (to which she stared at as blankly- so we clarify "Uganda, Africa. They travel as part of this choir to get the financial support they need to get an education back home"
At this point she gets very excited "Africa!" and turns to the cashier beside her "Did you get that? They're from Africa!" To which the lady just nods politely.
"But don't they miss their families?" she asks. We explained that most of them are partially orphaned or come from very vulnerable situations. "What? That happens? Oh my goodness, that is so sad, that is just so sad isn't it?"
As we're collecting our cheese to go, Angela adds "It is but these kids have the greatest joy, love, and happiness for a hope in the future."
At that point all the lady said was "Oh wow."
She was completely taken back by it all- the fact that the children are from Africa, that they live in poverty and come from needy situations, but that they are joyous. That amidst their sufferings there is a hope for poverty that is hard to imagine and shockingly sad.

As we walked out of the store my first thoughts were that the cashier was quite naive. But immediately following was my second thought- that how great that couple minute by chance counter was with her. That lady was both so genuinely concerned and excited by what little information she'd discovered through our conversation together. It just got me thinking how much more I want to influence people here in North America to broaden their perspectives and get them involved, connected, educated, hurting, and caring for those in poverty in this world. This one cashier made me imagine just how many more people there are out there- ignorant to the realities of how most of our world lives. It made me imagine just where we could be with more people aware and ready to help bridge the gap between rich and poor- ust imagine, with people on board- excited, educated, ready to give, where we would be?

2009-08-02T00:54:00.001-04:00

I was just thinking about it after I hit the "publish post" button on my last entry....simplest things really are the greatest source of joy after all. I just managed to write a couple paragraphs worth of stories from tonight- to anyone else a simple swim for a couple hours and drink before bed. Wonderful isn't it how it can be so much more?

wet and worth it

2009-08-01T21:22:00.000-04:00

I had to double check my schedule to tell you where I'm writing from tonight- we've come a long ways this week, and so many travel days later in a hotel room in Hurley Wisconsin it feels nice to curl up and relax in the easy silence of a room alone tonight.

Today was a great day. I gradually watched the scenery around me turn into what reminded me of a more Canadian landscape as we drove on the U.S side of Lake Michigan. Even the small fishing village of Fish Creek Wisconsin reminded me of the Port Stanley- a fishing port and beach that our family has celebrated every Canada Day at together. I love the long bus rides. I love having the day ahead of me to leisurely spend it between reading a stack of books for the kids around me, reading myself, listening to music, and then allowing it to let me drift in and out of resting. After setting out today just after breakfast we got to the hotel around 4:00. At first I wasn't going to, but I decided to get in the pool and swim with all the kids at the hotel. I had so much fun! It was one of those moments of just genuinely enjoying the children and making the most of months left with them. As I get tired more often I have to remind myself to really take these times and cherish them. I ended up having a blast piggy back swimming the boys through the deep end, playing tag with Lino, and what initially began as helping Lydia learn how to kick properly turned into almost all the children at the side of the pool playing red lights green light with me...took me right back to my swim teaching days! Funny story:
I spent some time with Geoffry helping him learn how to float- coaching him along to keep his head up and tummy up. At this point Nelson walks over, announcing that he is my personal assistant in teaching, and upon seeing Geoffry's large stomach ballooning out of the water says to his stomach "Wow there- down boy! Sit!"

After swimming, I asked the girls if they wanted to make some chai tea together for bed- which was met by Gladys screaming and jumping around the room, and Peace running at me- flinging herself on me like a monkey saying "Auntie- you're the best!" And so we went to the lobby and made chai- or should I say had sugar with a bit of chai? Then me and the 5 girls piled onto my bed- drinking tea, listening to devotional songs, singing together, and then praying for the person that was beside us. I tucked them in a couple hours ago and couldn't be feeling happier.

Tomorrow we are headed to Washburn to perform in an outdoor theater part of a summer music series- check it out! http://www.bigtop.org

Be still?

2009-07-22T15:42:00.000-04:00

Think back for a minute...when was the last time that you were completely still, felt wholly at peace? There was a song I used to sing in Sunday school called "Be still and know that I am God"...infact that one line was the song- slowly we would sit and sing that line again and again until our teacher believed that we'd found a point of focus and a sense of calmness and swept over the classroom. It is so hard for me to quiet my heart. It is so hard to try and live, even just a day, without it shaped by a schedule or commitments, outings, or dependent on things to do.

As a child my most relaxing memories are those that I can fondly look back upon at our cottage by the Lower Beverly Lakes- separated from the ringing of the phone, the computers, t.v, and days cluttered with activities and school that always kept us too busy. The cottage was such a serene haven of escape from all of it.

Yesterday, my day off with Angela took me back to those last 2 weeks of the summer- where everything was so peaceful, the days were free, and all my family had around us was the lake and each other. I couldn't think of a more perfect day off. We've shared so many days off together, and with other friends from the team and were recounting some of our favourites the other day...exploring the French Quarter of New Orleans, 6th Street in Austin, listening to live music, great restaurants, but more often now as I am beginning to feel more tired I find myself needing these kinds of peaceful days to really relax. Ang and I swam across the lake that a host home overlooked near Indianapolis- it reminded me of swimming black Jack Lake at the cottage. As we swam across we stopped halfway to just lie on our backs and let the warmth of the mid day sun wash over us. With my ears covered by the water I could hear nothing, and only see a seemingly endless vast expanse of blue sky overhead. For just a couple minutes the worries, stresses, tension, and exhaustion seemed to float away from me...It is easy to become discouraged sometimes, know how to show love to people, push aside your selfish thoughts, be genuine, be a true servant, or even in everyday details loose sight of the big picture of why I am here. I always find myself wishing that I could capture a feeling better through my words but I can't. Maybe that is why I have never much enjoyed journaling. I always feel like what I write has to be perfect and articulate...but the truth is I don't think you can capture that kind of peace in words.

Marci (our choir manager) was down visiting us for this past week- she is a good source of encouragement and I hope that her visit can help to bind us together more as a team. She lead out staff devotions for us on the weekend and spoke of having a heart of worship. She asked us where we felt most worshipful in our actions, and at the time I couldn't exactly answer. I love worshiping through music, but often I get distracted. I believe that yesterday though was my answer to her question- in absolute quietness and stillness. Where I can be floating right in the middle of everything around me and have no question that this is our God.

Stories

2009-07-17T12:39:00.000-04:00

The more we travel the more I believe that the story of one life is really made up many other people's stories and how they intertwine, come together, and cross paths with the own roads we're on. Lately I have stayed with so many wonderful hosts with such unique stories to share. Last week I stayed up late every evening visiting with my hosts- a couple whose husband was from Whales, and his wife from Indiana. On the second night they wanted to take a picture of us to put on their "International wall"- a wall in their home in which to hang memories of many visitors from all around the world. They welcomed in a young man from Brazil to be part of their family and home for a year when he needed a place to stay after being stranded in an airport and brought home by their son with no advance notice! At one point they were telling me that there was one Christmas day in which Eileen, the wife was the only American around the table full of company! Luckily, with a British background, we made pot after pot of tea together as I listened to their stories. They told me that if they couldn't travel to every country- live in every culture- then the best way to come to learn and know a different culture was to make your home open to people from different places. I thought that was a neat way of looking at it. We'll never get to see the world- let alone all the places we'd like to in this lifetime- but what a wonderful way of learning about them...really, I guess that's what our hosts do upon meeting us right? I should also add that my host proposed to his wife within 24 hours of meeting her and they have been happily married and totally in love for almost 30 years now since then. Isn't that incredible? A love so instant but yet so strong?

I also stayed with a family when I came back from vacation who were wonderful to get to know. Sometimes it surprises me just how much people open up and share with you when just a few hours ago you were complete strangers. I'm glad they do though and I believe it's teaching me and encouraging me to be more open as well. The husband as he drove me home started talking about how the children had changed him and moved him- and how when he looked at me doing what I'm doing at my age he started to look back to the place he was at in his twenties. He started to share about how many years he'd wasted away back then, and how selfish he'd been, and how it was too late to change that. Yes, it is too late to change the past. I was reading a book the other day that said if we continually let our minds wander back to the negatives of the past then we will always be living in a negative place, reliving those emotions and never coming out of them to face today. I told him that yes the past is gone- the chance at changing it gone. But the future? The today? It's not too late for that. He went on to say that he hoped he wouldn't loose the change in him brought about by the children once we'd moved on. And then he couldn't talk anymore- getting frustrated with himself for being so emotional and choked up infront of me he turned away and drove until he broke the silence by saying "Laura you're a cool girl. That's I can say."

I hope if you're reading this, and you know who you are, I've thought a lot about that stay- and you're pretty cool yourself."

"Never let the story die" were the words of the missions pastor from my home church when I met up with him for coffee on my vacation. May that be true for all of us.

2009-07-06T23:24:00.000-04:00

The pics I promised!!

back!!

2009-07-03T23:35:00.000-04:00

It doesn't seem to matter how tiring or discouraging of a day it can be- somehow these children- "the laugh of a child" as Goethe once said "can make it holier still". I write tonight- for the first time in awhile since being home on a vacation and I am tired from a long day and a concert this evening. After crossing from Kentucky to Indiana I now sit under a net of butterflies in the bedroom of a little girl who has given me her room for our night in Indianapolis. The night air is warm on my back, and I can hear fireworks outside my window for the second night in a row. (Downstairs there even waits a fourth of july coffee cake for breakfast!)

It is late but I can't seem to still my mind enough to sleep although my eyes are telling me that I should go to bed. I do want to share with you though since I've been back. It always seems that there is so much that happens in just one day spent here traveling this life on the road. It hardly seems like just 2 weeks ago that I stepped off a plane in Lexington Kentucky. Seeing the children again and my dear friends from this team was probably one of the warmest feelings one can ever experience. I had missed them so much when I was home- my mind just did not want to take a vacation from wondering about how they were doing- how their exams went, their concerts, their hosts, the news things they'd done...how they were doing.... I flew into Lexington just in time to sneak into one of the closets in a classroom the children had for the day. Steve was lining up the kids at the end of the day and told them since they had behaved so well that they deserved a surprise- and that the surprise was in the closet. He then opened the closet door to where I stepped out. That is the only instance where I can say that being nearly knocked over by the screams and hugs of 22 children is one of the greatest feelings you could ever experience. For the past week I have still been catching up with them- hearing their stories and reassuring them that I drank enough chai tea on my vacation for all of us!

I never took the time I had at home with my family and friends for granted, and I certainly am trying to live in the moments I have left to be with these children now and this team in person since being back.

The children have been counting down days until a surprise- and yesterday we took them to 6 flags in the Kentucky Kingdom! I heard many guesses of what the surprise could be- everything from swimming and the zoo to flying a giant goose together! None of them could have ever imagined to guess this though! I had a great time- Angela and I put our two groups of girls together and tried every roller coaster and ferris wheel we could manage to ride in a day! Oh I wish you could've sat beside these girls- eventually I was laughing so hard at their screams and "Auntie Auntie Auntie! God will help us! Oh my my my ca ca ca ca ca help me!" that my stomach hurt and tears streamed down my face. I was laughing so hard that it didn't even matter that a rollercoaster was making me go upside down, get whiplashed, or feel like I would fall off its tracks- the reaction from the girls was just too hysterical. I don't know who was louder- Peace and Scovia's screaming or my laughing- although Rachel can tell you she could hear Peace screaming from outside the entrance of the ride!

I will try and most pictures later- and I'll end with a couple quotes that I want to remember from the day:

Mo: "I can't wait, I can't wait I can't wait for the surprise today!"
Lillian: "yes you can"
Mo "No, I can't wait!"
Lillian: "Yes, you can wait"
Mo "No I can't wait! I am too excited!"
Lillian: "Please Mo- the bible tells us to be patient."

Immaculate: "I thought that ride was going to take me to heaven!"

Peace: "MAMMA!! MAMMAAAAA!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

More "firsts"....

2009-05-19T21:16:00.000-04:00

It is fun to think that even after 8 months of touring with these children that I still have the lucky privelage of experiencing "firsts" with them. Firsts for everything defined the start of tour- watching their faces laugh and tears of happiness come from the simple push on a swing, seeing their shocked faces at the idea of a washer and dryer (and hearing their confident statements that they can hand wash their clothes better!), seeing them marvel at a McDonald's playplace, watching them trying to eat spoonfuls of jam when they realized how sweet it was, or calling bacon "piglet" at the first taste...

Sometime later after travelling through many states and staying with so many different kinds of people on different walks of lives and in an aray of neighbourhoods and homes the pattern and routine of tour life has become comfortably familiar. Last night the church we were hosted by took us all out to mini golf and pizza. I can still think back and remember the children's first taste of pizza even in their first week in America- and how that was once a newly special treat of an outing! But last night mini golf was definately a first for most and I had a blast! Sometimes I wonder if I get more joy watching the children or if they get more joy from playing.

I got to mini golf with Hannington, Christopher, and Gilbert Big. Hanny and Christopher are two of our youngest boys and they were delighted to be playing with "their friend!". Gilbert Big, one of the oldest boys in the choir- and one whose facial expressions and sayings crack me up acted as a fatherly coach to the mini golf session. I watched as Gilbert methodically calculated how to gently tap the ball into the hole as Hanny and Christopher looked like they were playing a game of curling with the mini putter, and cheering the most when the ball jumped the rocks and they had to fish it out of the little ponds. Christopher's hole in one was definately one of the game highlights as he came running and screaming into my arms. And then I laughed as Gilbert Big coached the boys to "come on, putt gently boy!"

That was our last stop in Georgia as now we've moved on to Tenassee. Georgia caught me by suprise with its beauty- rolling hills and green everywhere! Our first stop in Tenassee was in Signal Point- the church the children sang at sat right at the top of a moutain, and the day after the concert our host drove me and the boys to the lookout point off the mountain- I've attached some pictures, although I wish I could've taken a shot which would have captured the panoramic beauty of it!

Enjoy the pics- I must sign off now for the night. We have just stayed all together at a missions house- I love staying alltogether and having the chance to stay up and talk with friends from the team, but it means I am feeling tired tonight! I also have 8 of the girls from the choir at the host home tonight, and I am sure that has added just a littled to the tired feeling:)

Do I always start with food?

2009-05-14T13:39:00.000-04:00

I was just about to start my blog for you today with describing how delicious the cilantro hummus is on my sandwich, when I stopped to wonder if starting off my letters, e-mails, updates, and blogs to you with how great something is tasting is becoming a common trend. My last support letter definately began with describing how tasty my cinnamon crunch bagel was, and I am beginning to fear that my personal e-mails start with something along the lines of "wish you were here to enjoy this chai " or "just writing over a great lunch", or option 3 " I love starbucks and wish you were here too, love you bye!" Even as I write to you now, there's a break between every sentence for a bite of bread! Oh dear. It's really just because coffee shops are the kinds of places I find most relaxing to sit and write and read for a day off, but I have to laugh at what has surely become a common thread. If you were to go back and look over your letters from me I'm sure I would find it very emberassing. I will have to switch locations before writing my next support letter- my last one was definately written at Panera bread too!

Tour has reminded me of many things- the simple joys that come from childhood pleasures, that time always goes by too fast when you are enjoying yourself, you need to make time to take care of yourself, how to accept generosity, what it means to be a servant, simplest things are the best, and many other life lessons as I continue to grasp for wisdom in parenting beyond my years. One of the other things tour is a continual reminder of for me is how fragile life is to change. One day I thought I knew where I would be travelling for the next couple months, and the following week I was in Canada and then Nashville recording with country artists I love. Today we're in Georgia, and on Friday we'll be in Tenessee! Just last week we had a team of 9, and beginning this past week we are now a team of 8 as our tour leader Andrew left to return home to be with his family, and be a support to his father who is sick.

Life is a beautiful pattern of being blessed with time to know people and form deep roots in your relationships, and then at sometime say goodbye from your everyday with them and move on to the next place and people you are being called to. I worked at a summer camp for years, and those proved to be some of the best years of my life. I left with 3 of the closest friends I'd made scattered over several provinces and left with a hard transition back into school after saying goodbye. But then if I hadn't said goodbye to that chapter of my life I wouldn't have made the friends I did in Ottawa, in University, or now- here. I guess the other part of life's pattern is bitter sweet in its beauty. The hard part is the goodbyes after becoming so close, but the beautiful part is that for those precious close friendships the depth of the relationship is unchanged by the changing distance between you. Andrew was a wonderful leader for our team- very hardworking, gave great spiritual insight, and was always someone to laugh with. Last week our entire team stayed together at a missions house supported by the church. It was perfect to be together to just be in each others company before he left, and the kids were excited to have a party together for him- recapping memories of their time with Uncle Andrew in Uganda and with lots of dancing and goodies later on.

So now Lindsey has taken over as our tour leader, Angela doing speeches for shows, myself now doing media interviews for the news and t.v, and with Steve on vacation Rachel is driving the bus and doing the sound for shows...and helping Lindsey with her admin roles! It is amazing how this team each has their individual strengths, but talents that can cover for others as well- I guess that's what makes a great team!

Pay it forward

2009-05-09T16:30:00.000-04:00

Last week I enjoyed the most ideal day off. One of the church members found out a group of us had the day off he offered his kyak and got a canoes to us from a friend to take out on the lake for the day. Do you know the song "Be still and know that I am God?" I always sung it in Sunday school- and it came to mind as we enjoyed the warmth of the sun beating down on us as we paddled. There are few moments I can recall where I have felt a complete and true sense of peace and stillness- but for that whole day I did.

This week for my day off a lady whom I didn't even know from the church we were staying at offered to drive Angela, myself, and Patrick to do our errands when she found that some of us had the day off. She hurried through cleaning up after making all the of the children lunch to run us to Walmart, and then when we asked if we could swing by Starbucks on the way home she offered it as her treat to us. I turned to Ang as she dropped us of and wondered out loud if I would have done something like that for somebody in my situation- I can only hope that I would be so intentional in being sensitive to the needs of someone else and generous to help them. I don't know if before tour I would have the foresight to be so intentional in how I could bless others, but Angela reminded me in our conversation that now after tour I have the hindsight to someday be the person who can look for ways to bless someone else.

That's one of the things that I look forward to. I have learned and experienced that it is not easy to always be on the receiving end of being blessed- it is so easy for me to feel guilty when I accept someone wanting to go out of their way... or on the other extreme I believe we can become complacent to the spirit of giving and thus loose a spirit of genuine thanks. It is a very humbling position I'm in to always be the one who is served, cared for, and thanked and praised. Humbled I am indeed when there is no real way to repay those that bless me daily, but to just think that someday in the future I will be able to pay it forward. I have certainly come to learn a lot more about how to be thoughtful in my intentions- and I think it's one of the greatest things I've gleaned from tour.

Even in Washington when the venue we were singing at found out the children had the afternoon free they quickly got together 4 large taxi vans to take us to the national zoo! After such a busy schedule of rehearsals and long days of travel the afternoon out in the sun for hours watching the animals with 26 excited children was the perfect way to end my time with them.

Still working on catching you up...

2009-05-07T12:42:00.000-04:00

Let's go back a couple weeks together...

After Nashville4Africa I had a plane ticket booked for me to continue on with 31 as they travelled to Washington D.C to sing for World Malaria Day. We took a very early morning flight to arrive at a very ritzy hotel called the Topaz. Couldn't resist trying on the zebra and cheetah print robes availabe for a purchase of $150 dollars with the girls that were in our room! That evening we went for a soundcheck at the venue before dinner. Now, I should just come out and say it right now...

I didn't meet the Obamas.

I didn't ask about their dog.

I didn't meet former president Bush.

And I didn't meet the Clintons.

I was told they would be there, and so excitedly I told all of you! And then in talking to some of your parents and friends you've told them that I would be meeting Obama myself! I've had to then explain that apparently they were invited to come, but were never actually there. So sorry to those of you who passed on what we thought would have been very exciting news from my time in Washington! The event wasn't as large as I'd expected, but it still added to a lot of exposure for the choir and our work which is exciting. A let down from thinking I was meeting the president yes- but not a let down if those who came that day for conferences and lectures were moved and felt the hope of Africa through song.

It was interesting to me- I feel as though in the past couple weeks I have heard a lot of promises and goals being made. In Nashville one of the artists spoke that it was their goal that there would be no more poverty by the year 2015. At world Malaria day the speakers that I was able to hear confidently spoke for an end to malaria by 2015 as well. I must admit my skepticism to you- it is such a high goal on a timeline whose goalpoint lies only 6 years away. But then again I think of a quote I read somewhere: "Our fear in life is not aiming too high and not acheiving our mark, but setting our mark too low and acheiving it."

I have learned from this tour that I am not the kind of person who is a visionary leader, but rather I am much more detail oriented by nature, and I must work to put together a bigger picture. I may not have seen the famous faces I boasted about, but I have seen a great deal of visionary leaders in the past couple weeks. The details on such an ambitious goal seem blurry to me and it makes me question whether we could ever get there. But then I have to turn it around and ask myself- is that really the question? Or is it more important to aim our goals high and work hard even if we don't meet them? I think I've come to see at least in doing that our hard work will produce greater progress and efforts even if the goal is not fulfilled. And I think that is the answer I have for now...

Nashville4Africa

2009-04-28T20:59:00.000-04:00

My dear friends- I once had this great idea that I would blog every week...well, I am afraid to check on the date of my last entry but I know it has been awhile since I caught you up on where I'm at. This past month has been a whirwind for me- in the past week I've shaken hands with probably 20 celebrities, conducted a choir on 2 songs for a cd recording, taken 7 planes, crossed over to Canada, slept in my bed for one night, saw friends and family for the first time in almost 9 months, and learned and taught 6 new songs to a different choir in 3 days! What a reminder of just how quickly life can change and how flexible your direction, course, and ideas are in it all!

One giant surreal blur of an incredible opportunity and adventure later I am "settled" back with my choir in Georgia and surrounded by the familiar faces of my team and smiles and relationships with my children. A week ago I was in Nashville with choir 31 to help them learn 6 new songs for a large country music benefit called Nashville4 Africa with (for a country music fan) an incredible line up of artists: Big Kenny (save a horse ride a cowboy anyone?), Damien Horne (an artist who has done a lot of work forming partnerships with the Sudan), Keith Urban (who we opened with!), Faith Hill, Dierks Bentley, Brad Arnold, Ashley Cleveland, and the SteelDrivers. I met up with the choir 31 team in Monreal and from there travelled with them to Cambridge ON- I never thought I'd see the day when I cheered for the 401 and took 6 pictures of the Canadian flag- all poor quality taken from the bus window and really not worth posting- but it felt so good to be home! It is funny how just being near home an in a familiar place has such a feeling of comfort attached. Between being in Montreal and Cambridge I ran rehearsals with the kids for probably 10 hours and they learned 6 new songs! I felt so happily relieved by the end of our second rehearsal that everything had come together so well, especially with so many people counting on me for the event. After rehearsals my parents picked me up, and from there I got to see my sister again and my close friends for dinner too.

The best part about it? It felt like it was just the other day since I'd seen them and we were all enjoying dinner together and talking. Nothing felt strange about being surrounded by the people dearest to me from home- it was so natural to all be talking at the dinner table and comfortable and relaxed. What a comforting reminder that distance doesn't change the depths of good relationships. Not even 24 hours later I was back in Cambridge with choir 31 boarding the bus for a 2 day long trip to Nashville. When we finally got there we spent our first day in Oceanway recording studios- a studio set in an old church with such beautiful acoustics! From here on there are so many good stories to tell but I will highlight my favourtie moments. I don't remember a lot of details from the best memories, but how I felt in the moment is what remains...

1. At the recording studio recording with Dierks Bently. I was lucky enough to conduct with his manager for the cd recording. I hope amidst my nervous energy and excitement I did some justice to my conducting classes! My lasting memory is the creative energy of his manager- and his excitement in working with me. In any doubt of why I studied music- that feeling of how the music just stirred something within me when I conducted with him is the answer.

2. Conducting solo our third recording song and having the studio manager come out to the children after the first take- with no words, but a smile and tears. Every hour of rehearsal was completely worth it just for watching how their work and singing could then move someone.

3. Sound checking with Keith Urban for his hit single somebody like you- was I really on the same stage as him just last week?

4. Seeing how genuine Faith Hill is- she had the house band cover one of the chilren's songs from concert. I overheard her saying to her producer "this night is for the kids- it's about the African Childrens Choir- not about me. I'll sing off to the side- but I want the focus to be the kids. I'm not about to try and be the star for a song they've done for 25 years!" She left soundcheck after introducing herself to each of the children and the chaperones. The next day before the show she gave each of the children silver bracelets with the love verse from Corinthians engraved on it, and her daughter (maggie who's 10) donated all her money to the children that she'd been saving for the past year. At intermission she even came to the children's green room just to get more time in to play with them!

I had a lot of fun working with the team of 31, and leading their children in rehearsals. I also left after seeing the influence that fame has on our generation. In a society that idolizes celebrities I can say that I saw first hand the impact someone of such stature and wealth can choose to have on this world. How encouraging to see it be used for the positive!

Blessed.

2009-04-01T00:02:00.000-04:00

There are few greater things in life than the simplest of things. Listening to the rain beat on the roof as you sit warmly and safely tucked inside- good conversation-laughing...

That's where I'm at right now. Listening to a good storm as I sit cozy in bed in Florence Alabama- suitcase looking much neater than it did earlier today as I get packed up again to move on to Birmingham tomorrow. I have spent the past three nights with a widowed woman by the name of Carolyn- upon hearing it was my day off today she quickly could not stop laughing in excitement. That is the way that Carolyn approaches everything- something so simple as fixing us breakfast in the morning finds her laughing, driving us to the church for the day, hugging us goodnight- her genuine joy for life has grabbed hold of me and touched me.

Smiling- this morning she pulls herself a cup of coffee and sits down to keep me company as I eat breakfast. She asks me lots of questions about my family, myself, my life- not because she has too fill space or silence, but because she genuinely wants to know me. We continue to talk and she tells me about how she fills her time now that she is retired. Carolyn is a very active woman. She fills her time with being a spokesperson for the Breast cancer society, after battling breast cancer herself and loosing her husband who was terminally ill and whose life was taken by the struggles of cancer. She tells me that she cannot be sad or worried that she is not cancer free, but happy for what it has given her- for the speaker she now is to encourage many, and for the friends she has been blessed with who share a similar story as herself. "It is the only thing to do- to be positive" she tells me happily- "that's all there is to it!" She knows that an attitude like that will serve her well to battle through any struggles, and I can only imagine how many more lives she has touched because of her outlook- beyond the life of her husband and my own.

I leave here now encouraged. It has been so wonderful- if only for a mere couple days to be truly included and feel so apart of her family. Her friends, who knew only of my work with the choir and that I am Canadian fought over who would pay for my lunch, and then when Carolyn found out I needed new concert shoes, she sent her daughter shopping with me tonight to find some. Her daughter bought me new shoes for concerts (whoever is reading this from my team I know you are very happy indeed!) and another just for fun because she "wanted to help me out!"

I just finished reading the book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert (go read it! It's one of my favourites now. But I will warn you that if you read it you will often find yourself laughing outloud, so I caution reading in public) At the end of the book she concludes by saying that too often we try to excuse the blessings of other people- we try not to take them, that we feel guilty- and instead we should learn to accept and just be so grateful and thankful in moments of blessing." Today these people who had just started to come to know me hugged me at the end of the day- thanking me, asking if they could call me from time to time, telling me that I was inspiring, and hugged me saying they loved me. Those are powerful words. Hosts often tell me that because of what I've done I will indeed be richly blessed at the end of the journey and in the future...the thing is? I already have. Many, many times over- and in trying to heed Elizabeth Gilbert's advice tonight I just want to share with you that I am so thankful.

Looking back...

2009-03-21T23:28:00.000-04:00

I know it has been awhile since I've been able to blog- when I've had the time or the days off I haven't had the internet access to write. I've had to pull up my March folder of pictures to jog my memory of all that's happened this past month and what exactly I want to highlight. Sometimes I want to rush ahead too fast- everything seems so exciting and I think ahead to the next great thing before I have even lived in the moment I'm in. Sometimes it is easy to think that April is half over already as I look forward to camp, or that Easter is almost here as I try and plan out teaching new music for the Easter service, with new music for summer festivals to learn, and a vacation to think of planning I find that mentally I've already reached September sometimes and am already wishing for my time with these precious kids. And then I go to write a blog update and need to pull of a folder of pictures to remember March? It's then that I realize that in tour life I am not as good as living in the moment as I ought to be, or as I have been in the past. I should go through memories more often, recount good days more frequently, love them and learn from them, and be excited about looking back- not only in looking ahead.

Over the past couple weeks I've stayed in so many homes and have heard and shared in so many stories of people who have been affected by the hurricanes that swipe out these areas of the deep south. Sometimes it is too easy to be quite honest to judge the family you've met too soon, or wonder if you'll have your own space, bed, and internet. Staying in homes where the families have not been able to get their heating systems restored, where half of their homes are missing, and where the wall to the guestroom is half collapsed and messy can upon first impression seem inconvenient and uncomfortable. It is humbling then to realize that the woman who gave up her bedroom with the half collapsed wall is sleeping on the living room couch for you so that you may have privacy and comfort. That the unfurnished bathroom has proper plumbing again just done in time for your arrival. That the people at the house with no heating yet has 10 children sleeping on the floor so you would be comfortable in a bedroom. I think of myself and how I would react in this kind of situation, and I doubt that if my house wasn't in perfect shape to host that I would- but these people have shamelessy and warmy welcomed me into their homes. It is a humbling experience to realize that I may not have even offered my home in that case in the first place.

I am so thankful to come from a place where hurricanes leave no devestation to my home town. The faith of the people in this area to rebuild with faith for a good standing home is incredible- I have enjoyed seeing the different homes that have been constructed, and hearing the hearts behind the building plans, and the joy in sharing the success of their well standing homes now with me.

Visiting New Orleans was also a big eye opener to the devistation and ruins that Hurricane Katrina left behind. It came as a suprise to me to still see so many areas being rebuilt. The city itself however is still vibrant and exuberant in its culture. I love the big city! Ang, Steve, Patrick and I all took the ferry into the city for the day off. I had only one desire in New Orelans and that was to hear live jazz music- I got to hear so many different street bands and we ate lunch over listening to a group where the lead singer's voice sounded just like Louis Armstrong's himself. To top it off we wandered around the French Quarter and ate a morning snack of french beignets-1/2 doughnut, 1/2 powdered sugar.

Tomorrow night we don't have an evening concert like we usually do on Sundays so we have the afternoon free to spend with our hosts! I am already excited to make homemade hamburgers together and walk down to the local icecream shop that is apparently to die for in the evening. However, I am trying not to get ahead of myself again-being thankful for the rest of this evening and a morning concert and open afternoon still to enjoy.

Speed cars and Sundaes

2009-03-03T21:47:00.000-05:00

Angela and I were talking today over a delicious slice of tirimasu at an old oak tree garden on the lake about how the timing of the weather we get on tour could not be more perfect. From starting in Chicago we watched the leaves change and slowly fall over nine states until we reached Christmas camp. Since heading south from there it has only become warmer and continues to feel more like spring- today at lunch Angela and I ducked under sprinklers as we wandered around blooming flowers and inbetween shoots of bamboo. And then coming home tonight to the house it reminded me of late spring- when the weather is so sunny that it bridges on summertime and the memories of family and friends crowding the kitchen- fixing dinner with the windows and doors open to let in the breeze and the sun. What a wonderful day.

Tonight the boys and I were raced around town in "the speed car" as Mo called it. Nelson said that "the wind blew so fast in my hair that I lost small small amount when we were flying in the street". On my ride with Patrick he says: "Wow wow! Auntie Laura we are going so fast you are going to loose all your hair! I love to go fast fast never slow slow." It was honestly a lot of fun.

Time is going by so fast- it's been a three night stay here and now I am frantically finishing laundry as I realize I need to pack again for tomorrow...I feel like I have only been here a night. Andrew left this morning to go home for his two weeks of vacation- and so from now until July we will have an incomplete team for several months as people take turns going away from their break! It feels like only a month ago that when sitting in Makindye for one of the mornings reading our manual that the chapter on the logistics of vacations seemed too far away to talk about...Sometimes I get ahead of myself and think of everything there is to do, happen, and look forward to before the end of tour and then, in my mind, it's already over! I need to slow down and take the moments like tonight for every memory that it leaves me with and grab hold of it.

Even this past Sunday morning marked our 100th concert since starting tour- I always take notes on what there is to improve on, but it is good also sometimes to sit back and just reflect on how far the children have come since their first time singing in an American church- when they were distracted by every decoration in a church, and not sure of themselves.

In celebration of the kids performing their best concert this past week, before arriving at this church stay we stopped to treat them to icecream sundaes.

There will never be more time in a day, a week, a month- but as we almost finish another week I realize I need to stop more often, and make more time. The words of Uncle Abraham from Africa ring true tonight- "In America people have clocks and watches everywhere- but ironically they never seem to have enough time- but here in Africa we don't race against minutes- we just enjoy the company of others first- and we always have the time to enjoy it."

Wherever this finds you- and tonight as I go to bed- may that be a good, simple, reminder to us all.

Out of Texas!!

2009-02-27T12:10:00.000-05:00

This morning was windy and humid in Louisiana. After a good run this morning I made breakfast and read my book and wrote letters- enjoying the quietness of the home on my day off as my hosts went to work for the morning. After working the food pantry for the morning my host, Dorina, came back and suggested treating me for lunch. Seeing as I love food and people I quickly agreed, and half an hour later found us at a quaint little Mexican restaurant downtown. I never get tired of talking about this organization I realized as she asked me questions most people are curious about. Sure, I hear them day in and out but I genuinely love it. I am happy to engage people in the work of Africa- to help them get a glimpse into where these children come from, and to speak of the hope that lies ahead for them and their country. But beyond the usual questions came about such a good conversation- of her stories of faith and how she has been practically stretched and tested in her life. I was inspired as I doubt I would have reacted in the same manner, and encouraged by her challenges to face my own with faith. Sometimes I have to step back and remember that I have only known the people I meet for a couple days- that here I am speaking for the organization, or just personally sharing with them in a strangers home….from that angle it does feel strange- I know it looks strange to some of you to call or e-mail and imagine me hearing from you in a new house every other day- being apart of someone else’s family- but only does it seem strange when you think of it like that. To me, so many hosts over the past month have quickly become new friends. The list of contacts with people I have met along the way, especially over the past month, continues to grow- and that’s exciting!
One of the churches we performed at last month donated us free admission to the NASA centre in Houston- so on Monday we cleared off the afternoon schedule to take the kids there for the afternoon. There were some great exhibits on what life on the moon looks like, and some good interactive actives and several spaceships you could walk through the insides. The kids had their first experience watching an IMAX movie of outer space in which they insisted to sit in the first row front and centre. Haha, they may have regretted that decision later as they covered their ears for every blast off. …driving to our homes at the end of the day sharing astronaut freeze dry chocolate ice cream I’d say it was a hit!

post concert reflections...

2009-02-27T11:57:00.000-05:00

I don’t know when it happened- somewhere between first seeing these children in Makindye- learning their names, gathering first impressions… and right now- but they feel like family. The feeling and realization that overcame me tonight was completely humbling- somewhere along this road these children feel like my own. And in tonight’s concert I put my notebook down, ignored my usual critique of concerts, and was completely moved and proud of them. In my opinion tonight was their best concert to date. They are like my little heroes I thought as I watched them- how they came from being unnoticed to shining hope to a world made of broken, hopeless people, cities, countries. How they love to try- how they never give up on working. How they love- that they are quicker to forgive than hold onto anger. And as the pastor asked Nelson, our future minister, to pray for the offering I felt their child-like faith and his confidence bring me a real sense of joy. That overwhelmingly excited feeling overcame me my first time since seeing them- leaving me completely moved and sure that is where I want to be, and more importantly am called to be. Soon we approach our six month mark on the road, and tonight that feeling was so real again- just as it was stirring up inside of me a year ago now. More and more I have hosts comment after they are tucked away in bed how much they look up to me- how much they love me- and just how evident those feelings are by their actions. I know I loose sight of that in the day to day family-like living, but it is true. I recognize it and smile over it more as they confide in our team, as I share in their stories, as I continue to keep record of their personal lives, as they open up to me and share their curious spirits.

This morning I went to the church to greet them feeling exhausted from a restless night before- Mo after trying to get my attention with a hug turned to me and says “Auntie- you are not you today. You don’t sound like you and your big smile is not there.” I let my mood get the better of myself as we do when we’re human and show our emotions more freely when we love more freely- seemingly backwards I know, but so true. This morning reminded me of what I’ve been reflecting on tonight- just as I have come to know them on a deeper level, they know me too- and how evident that was in Mo’s childlike honesty this morning.

It is late now and I don’t think I could keep my eyes open for any longer without my thoughts becoming incoherent and fuzzy, so I will say goodnight from here with the feeling of a full heart.

weekly monuments

2009-02-19T12:17:00.000-05:00

Just the other day I began jotting down everything I wanted to blog to you about- adding to a list of thoughts and events that had started the list last week, when I came accross this in my devotional the other day:

"The Lincoln Memorial. The Vietnam Memorial...Mermorials are places provided for us to stand and be quiet, to reflect, and to pass on to the next generation the roots of a nation's heritage. They give us presnt significance because they give the past perspective. My fear for our present rapid-paced lifestyle is that we have so few memorials, so few monuments, even mental monuments. Life is lived in the fast lane. Superficial decisions. Hurry up childhoods...So little time spent stopping and recording segments of our lives in a journal..." (Charles Swindoll)

Many people ask if I do and tell me that I will regret it if I won't. I have never enjoyed journalling- taking time to process everything and write it down...recording emotions that I know will change, but I am beginning to realize that my days and weeks, and this life goes too fast not to. This experience is changing me and I don't want to forget how. These children are growing and maturing and I don't want to forget those formative moments. Evenings pass with saying goodights and I wish I could hold on to them forever. I wish I could remember more quotes, I wish I had more time to talk with them. I don't want to loose the everyday, small joy details of my work.

Usually I share best and process by talking to people- but living on the road is stretching me to communicate in different ways, and I believe this to be one of them. Sometimes I log onto my blog and don't even know where to begin- time has brought about so many things to pass, and in the spanse of time I cannot remember and hold onto all the memories.

Charles Swindoll goes on to say " In order to have perspective we must have mounuments and memorials, places to return to and learn from and talk about and pass on."

I want this to be that place for me, and I want to make a better start by catching you up on this week and where I'm at...

At the beginning of the week one of my close friends and wonderful Auntie to the kids- Sarah, left us to join Choir 31 in their work. Like any family it is hard to loose someone and say goodbye, but we are all very proud of her confidence to go, put herself out there, and be with a choir that was short staffed and greatly needed her. We hosted a goodbye party for her, and the kids sung her a farewell. While the kids continued eating cake and having a dance party the team of us were able to have some last time with Sarah- pray over her, and encourage her as we sent her off.

Before Valentines day this past Saturday a good friend of mine mailed goodie bags for all the kids, and between goodies sent from Lindsey's parents, and valentines from Angela and the Music for life office our team filled the bags and were done tying the ribbons for valentines day with the kids. From the friday evening to Saturday morning the school that we performed in placed us in a hotel rather than host families. So Saturday we suprised the kids with their goodie and bags and all piled into a room together to watch Madagascar 2. I love watching movies with these kids- I think it is quite possibly more entertaining to watch them than the movie itself because they're laughing so hard and are so suprised by everything on screen. A the movie started and Junior, who is quite quiet spoken, opens his goodie bag I hear him say "The Aunties and Uncles- look at all they do for us and what they have given us this morning. I know they love us so much." There aren't any words for that so I just hugged him.

For the past 3 nights I've had the chance to stay with three of the boys from the choir which doesn't happen often! One of the boys, who had just received a sponsor this week, was so excited that he brough home his school bag so I could help him write his thank you letter. As the rest of the boys played pool and ping pong Mo and I worked away at making a final draft of his letter- I even found him later that evening as I came in the room to say goodnight, letter in hand trying to write by the light of a small flashlight. It was such a great stay- when Mo put away his letter I got tackled by the three boys with hugs- and finally after telling them to stop and go to sleep Mo sits up and says "Come back Auntie Laura- your hugs were plastic hugs- I want a real one!" haha

Right now we're back in Austin and I am staying with a young couple- the wife works at the church as a community missions coordinator. I talked to her last night about her work and the programs she has begun through the church. The vision and programs she has set up are incredible. She and her husband do a lot of work in Brazil and have taken part in many music for life summer missions trips to Africa. Her current work in the community focuses on establishing relationships with the homeless in Austin. She spoke a lot about how being relational with these people takes a lot of time and effort instead of just handing them something, or doing a favour and walking away. We talked a lot last night about the importance of a ministry that begins with being relational- I believe it's the only way that deep roots can be planted in any work. Since an end date for our tour was announced to be December 2009 I have thought a lot more about what I want to do after tour. With an end to this experience, life after tour begins to feel more real. I still don't have an answer for what I'd like to do- but more and more I am learning what's most important- who I want to be. I want to be like this family- I want to partner and work in communities- I don't believe I could work overseas but I would love to continue to travel there- and expand my relationships. For the first time I don't feel panicked by not knowing exactly what I want to do, but I think recognizing what is important to me and how I want to live my life must be the first step before making a career choice that can fit that- and I believe I am slowly gaining a better vision of what that looks like...

sunburns in February??

2009-02-04T00:16:00.001-05:00

One of my first e-mails from our choir manager when our team had been chosen for this tour was about things to look forward to- among her top highlights being the generous spirit of Uncle Brother Doug and his church, and second to that her story of the beach of Corpus Christi.

" You will love it when you get to Corpus Christi! The team had a beach day where all the North American chaperones got burnt and the Africans all got tan lines"

And yes, now I sit writing to you- my shoulders, arms, and neck completely sunbaked. It continually takes me by suprise-this weather for Febuary. Even this morning the lady I am staying with picked oranges off her orange tree in the backyard to make myself and the girls freshly squeezed orange juice!...and for lunches Peace and Immaculate picked their own oranges off the tree before hopping in the car to head to church.

The other day we told the children they would have three suprises over the next two days to look forward to- the first being a visit from the local fire department. One of the host families is a firefighter and brought his team over with the truck for the kids to explore. After that Christopher, a hopeful future pilot, announces "I am going to be a fireman pilot- so I can fly planes, and when it catches on fire I can put it out." Probably the funniest moment was when Peace got all geared up in the fireman pants, boots, jacket, helmet- everything and then because it was so heavy on her stood up and then completely fell over!

The next day the kids took a walk down the beach and were treated to free burgers at a hamburger chain on the beach- and afterwards the church that's hosting us took the kids to the aquariam- the highlights being the dolphin show and the getting to touch the sting rays. Unfortunately it was my day off so I wasn't with them, but Mo at the end of the day rushes up to tell me that the suprise was "dancing fish that wanted to be a motorcycle."

My day off was spent with Ang, Patrick, and
Sarah- between the beach and a neat
restaurant/tea room we had a great day. I've been really lucky with having my days off in bigger cities lately- the last two being in Austin. I think that Austin and Chicago have been my two favourtie places on tour so far- I just love the culture of the city.

Over the past few weeks the kids have been working hard on studying for exams and in the next couple days the kids will be writing their first term exams since we've been on the road. The exams are really important so please keep them in your thoughts and prayers! An encouraging note from the Music For Life Primary school back in Uganda that the children will return home to...

...If our school was registered, of which we are working on the process we would be ranked 6th in Kampala and 13th in the country. For three years in a row we would have been in the top 20 in the country. Yes, I think that is exceptional when you consider where our children come from…

I can't believe the week is already half over now- hopefully this month won't disappear like the last one and I will try to be in closer touch before Febuary slips away from us.

Padre Island

2009-02-02T00:15:00.000-05:00

Today found our tour in Corpus Cristi. Walking along the beach with Sarah we both realized that we hadn't blogged since Christmas- wasn't Christmas just last week? At least that's what it feels like. I honestly don't know where January has gone...It has come and gone in the laugh of a child, in a smile, in another day of learning, visits from supervisors, rehearsing, improving, and the temperature rising. This afternoon being the big superbowl game we didn't have a performance and got the afternoon off. The lady I'm staying with took the girls out to the nations largest natural seashore beach! It was beautiful- the girls eagerly ran to the water and splashing around it seemed they would never get enough of it. Since I was a kid just loving the sensation of playing in the water and catching waves has been one of my favourtie sensations so that sometimes I feel as though I just can't get enough of it. Peace, on one of her dives into the waves, comes running back to me to tell me that "wow wow don't drink the ocean Auntie Laura it does not taste good!" I asked her if it was very salty tasting- completely serious she replies "Yes! ...who poured all the salt on it?" I keep trying to take pictures of this place- frantically trying to take in by the snap of a camera lense what appears to only get more beautiful with every block I drive or walk here- but it just doesn't capture the panoramic views I have all around me. The setting sun and the cooling of the evening eventually brought us in to have a picnic snack on the sand before we took a leisurely drive through palm tres and over the ocean back home (not to run it in to you Canadians reading this!)...it was the perfect day.

L'arte d'arrangiarsi

2009-01-13T22:43:00.000-05:00

Have you heard of the book "Eat, Pray, Love?" I love the pure honesty in the author's writing and wanted to share with you a quote from it that I read yesterday- it made me sit back and reflect on Christmas (and how I should get on blogging it too) but firstly here is what the author had written...

" Generally speaking though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from theme parks to malls, but that's not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today, but we seem to like it. Alarming statistics back this observation up, showing that many Americans feel more happy and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes. Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure). Americans don't really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype-the overstressed executive who goes on vacation but who cannot relax."

...then the authour goes on to describe the Italian culture compared to that of American life. But I want to pull one quote in particular from this next section:

"L'arte d'arrangiarsi"- the art of making something out of nothing. The art of turning a few simple ingredients into a feast, or a few gathered friends into a festival. Anyone with a talent for happiness can do this, not only the rich.

This past Christmas I experienced that happiness. True happiness. The kind that comes from spending the whole morning outside running in a soccer game, or from watching your children pretend to make African meals from sticks and soil, or being busy in the kitchen with 8 other people cooking together- frantically grabbing utensils, flipping crepes, and sectioning fruits in busy preperation for Christmas day brunch but feeling a complete sense of togetherness in the small space and frantic pace of working together. It really does not take much. An afternoon of wagon riding, an evening of having Racheal make rounds of peppermint hot chocolate for all the chaperones, movie nights, hours of wrapping Christmas presents for the kids over eating appetizers. A small Christmas Eve service- probably the first one I ever attended that you didn't need to come half an hour early for just to get a seat. It was barely half full- but because of that it left room for our kids to lead out the Christmas carols they knew for the people there, and the intimate setting allowed for a lot of time of personal reflection on the holiday. The simplicity of it was wonderful. With all my usual Christmas traditions far away at home I spent a Christmas with the focus shifted from myself to blessing the children- but in return being equally as blessed by their reactions to finding their stockings and gifts.

They jumped up and down when they received sparkly gloves from Wal Mart and tried to wear them to bed that night with the excuse that their hands were always cold! They forgot about the second half of their stockings after finding pictures of their families taken in Uganda before leaving and being so excited to show us and remind us of their parents, Aunties, and Uncles whom we met last August.

All week long we enjoyed cooking and baking together- I got to share a few recipes from home and even make the Christmas turkey with help from Sarah, Andrew, and Martha Stewart. I attempted to make gravy like my Dad's which (to be expected) still needs perfecting on my part or just plain practice- and later that night ladies from Uncle brother Doug's church brought over an assortment of homemade pies to enjoy. A lot of time was spent in play, singing, dancing, devotions, cooking- but most of all, and most importantly just together. That is one of my most lasting impressions of this holiday- the time to be together, relaxed in pure simple pleasure as a tour family enjoying the simplicity of everyday as it came.

Christmas Time..

2008-12-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

By the time it was dark outside last night we had arrived at our camp in Laguna Park Texas and had loaded in enough groceries for a weeks worth of meals for 32 people! The groceries were brought in by an assembly line of about 8 of us- with the two kids in hysterics the whole time as they tried to catch bulk supplies of everything while giggling over how much we have for our Christmas holiday!

Laguna Park is a one stoplight town with the most generous and hilarious man (Uncle Brother Doug- the pastor of the church we're singing at tonight) without a doubt. Yesterday he paid for all our groceries for the week explaining that this was about giving to us how he could, and how not just everyone got the opportunity to bless us uniquely! This morning we were invited to the breakfast Uncle Brother Dough cooks for his congregation week after week. So upon getting the breakfast room I am met with the best smell of homemade jumbo sized cinnamon buns, french toast, AND homemade raisin and berry mix english muffins- talk about a servants heart!

Today is our last day of concerts before the holidays- and it's been so fun to have the Christmas music added to the program after finishing it in rehearsals! Little Racheal (the girl who plays Mary) was so nervous to come out on stage to do her part in acting out the manger scene, but after doing it once comes beaming and running into my arms after the concert announcing "I am not shy anymore!". Just for that moment every hour of rehearsal was definately worth it.

After tonight's concert we have no set schedule except for trying to fit in gift wrapping, lots of playing, movie watching, and making sugar cookies with the kids into our days! Our last church that we stayed at donated us all Toms shoes to all the kids- have you heard of them before? I hadn't till tour- for every shoe that is bought one is given to a child that needs shoes in Africa and South America. After hoping to give all the kids new shoes for Christmas this was such a generous blessing to fulfill that wish! As a suprise for the kids I am going to paint the ACC logo and their name on each of their shoes and am pretty excited to do it.

With all of my personal family traditions gone for this Christmas and in being away from home and family my hope is that my focus may be redirected to what this season is really all about. To imagine a life without my faith and be truly thankful for why we're celebrating. And then to find true joy in these kids- in their smiles that I'm so excited for as they figure out what a stocking is, attend a Christmas eve service together, and relax on Christmas day opening gifts and all baking a brunch and dinner together. And so I leave you here- at just the start of it all and as I don't have wireless at the camp wish you wonderful wishes for Christmas now!!

From Nelson...

2008-12-11T17:33:00.000-05:00

Now THIS is Texas weather- a day with no coat and 16 degree weather of sunshine watching the kids run around outside. Today has been filled with hours of english lessons- one of the boys in grade 4, Nelson, was assigned a journaling activity today and after writing my blog a couple days ago I had to share it with you- the same story of the first snow through the eyes of a child...

" When we were in Dallas we saw snow. At frist Uncle Andrew said it is snowing but I said no that's not true- please do not joke, so he said touch my arms. So I caught his arms then I felt his arms so so so so so cold. Then I believe that it is snowing outside. Then my friends came out from the shower than they found us talking about snow they my friends did not believe so Uncle Andrew said Let's go outisde. We all went outside shout yes yes! So we went outside to see snow but before seeing when Patrick was holding the door people push Patrick away because they wanted to see snow. Auntie Angela was taking video I opened my mouth very wide and I was eating snow. I will write other when this journal book comes back."

It's....snowing?!?!

2008-12-09T22:08:00.000-05:00

Tonight is our final night staying at a college in Dallas- the kids sung yesterday morning for probably (well, not probably- they were on their feet the whole time) audience to date which was both exciting and encouraging to see after rehearsing so often and watching so many shows. This week marks the final week of preparing Christmas music so that we can add it into the program by the start of next week. I had my day off today and when I got back the kids were so excited to tell me that they had learned the verse to the song I taught them last (Silent Night) in their language. I have come to know the contagious effects of happiness- feeling it first hand through these kids and getting excited and energized to continue working hard for and with them.
Just as we finished showers tonight Rachel grabbed Peace and told her to put her coat over her short p.j's to run outside so she could see the hail- explaining it would be the closest thing to snow she would see on tour. Not 5 minutes later as all the kids are out of the shower does it start to snow! Really snow! Not just freezing rain or slush but huge flakes of snow that fell in clumps- dotting everyone's p.j's. The kids ran around screeming and hugging each other- trying frantically to catch it before the snow hit the ground or catch it on their tongue- it was so fun! I know I have said this whole time that I am so glad to spend Christmas without winter, but it was so exciting for me to see snow- for it to feel like a touch of home so far south and to see the kids eagerly trying to catch in, carry it inside, and then later to have them come running to you wanting hugs to try and warm up their shivering little bodies and cold toes!
But now- it is time to go back to the residence we're staying in to watch White Christmas (for my first time I might add!)- ready to brave the cold with my spring jacket and hot chocolate in hand.

tonight's feature...MADAGASCAR!!

2008-11-24T16:40:00.000-05:00

Staying at a church for a couple nights after we flew in from our total of 24 hours in Boston was suprisingly relaxing- it was fun to have everyone together and not feel rushed in our daily schedule for a change. After all the kids hard work prepping for Boston, and after doing such a great job we suprised them with a movie night. The church that we were staying in even had a movie room too- it could not have been more perfect!

We let the kids eat their dinner infront of the movie (but half of them were so excited and entranced with their first movie in America that they forgot about the food!)- it took me back to the days of being allowed to eat a t.v dinners infront of the t.v...that's one of the other great things about this job- it has refreshened so many childhood memories, and the simplest of times that at the age of 8 were such a treat and an exciement.

Halfway through the movie we stopped to hand out popcorn to the kids, and their first soda as a treat- followed by a dance party and cheering they were so happy.

We ended up watching Madagascar- the movie was really funny, but I think that the kids hysterical laughter was what really made me laugh the hardest- at points it was hard to hear the movie anymore because they were laughing so hard. Scovia (the same girl who sits with me on the bus) sat just ahead of me- and every couple lines of the movie kept saying "Ma ye! Ma ye!" which translates to "Wow! Oh my!" and then would burst out laughing. A host the other day asked one of the girls, Lydia, what her favourite part of America was to which she quickly answers "Madagascar!"

Greenbuild 2008 with Desmund Tutu

2008-11-24T16:14:00.000-05:00

It is amazing to step back and look at just where life takes you- from singing for 30,000 people in Boston, to unloading bays of sound equiptment once again to set up for a concert and sleep over at a church for a couple nights on parts of a couch the next evening. A few days ago the choir was in Boston to open and close for a speech made by Desmund Tutu at an environmental conference. The morning that we sang I had to remove myself from that moment- from the hundreds of cable wires of sound equiptment, people a buzz in every direction escorting Desmund Tutu, and just think how amazing it is really that these children who walked confidently behind me to the dressing rooms were being treated as celebrities- given the nicest hotel on the waterfront, privately catered meals and snacks were now being beamed over by crowds of people wanting to have their picture with them and media cameras and crew teams praising them for how beautiful and talented they are. Women were crying when they found out that these kids- the ones they were so taken by, are some of the neediest in Africa - and in that moment to step back and see just how much bigger this experience is than I could ever imagine.
The children behaved very professionally and pushed aside weary eyes from our red eye flight to Boston and didn't complain as they poured out all their energy into soundcheck and the performance the following day. The couple of songs the choir performed was not only performed for 30,000 people, but as we found out when we arrived- broadcasted to 80 countires as well! There is also a clip of our kids (well one of the screens our kids were video streamed onto at the conference that is) on you tube- check this out!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciJlngh1fy4

...or if that doesn't work then just search Greenbuild 2008 and you'll see them!

I wish that I could have heard Desmund Tutu speak but unfortunately we had to be backstage and the echo of the room made it sound as though there were 10 Tutu's speaking- I know Steve caught more of the speech though- so I encourage you to check it out on his blog site if you want more than I could hear his voice backstage and walked by him...I'd say came close to brushing shoulders really:)

Happy 22nd...

2008-11-10T22:58:00.000-05:00

There is something uniquely special about birthdays- it is a funny thing I find- to stop and think that it is really just another day of the year, but only because people go out of their way to think of you and remind you of that, does it become something special.

This couldn't be more true of my birthday last week- Angela had a really generous host who offered her the car for the night, and so I got a call from Sarah saying that the girls from the team wanted to take me out for my birthday once the kids were in bed and would pick me up before 8! They had planned to take me to historic St. Charles- something that they knew would be just my kind of place to visit- so still a suprise to me where we were going, we drove down cobblestone streets to a cutely lit restaurant for desserts. It was the first time that we'd been out together after the kids were asleep since tour started and it was just such a genuinely fun night out- I haven't lauged so hard that I was crying through half the night in awhile- I left that night thinking that it was one of those times where you feel like you couldn't get happier. You know that feeling? There are few things better than that.

On the actual day of my birthday I was greeted in the morning by Andrew with an eggnog chai- I think that Christmas lights and everything Christmas in the malls already is still slightly premature but the Christmas drink menu at starbucks? Not at all- I would not object if the christmas cups and menu appeared mid October.

It was a busy day for me full of teaching english and running rehearsals, but at the end of the day the team brought of cupcakes from the cooler in the bus that they'd been keeping a secret from me- I was definately suprised by the gesture and all the cards the kids had made for me. Here are a couple of my favourite quotes from the kids cards:

" Happy Birthday Auntie Laura! I love you love love love you sooooo much! I am very excited for your birthday and am going to buy you a car. Byeeeeeee" -Julius (age 9)

"Dear Auntie Laura, Happy Birthday to you! When I first met you I thought I saw an angel, but then I realized it was the beautiful Auntie Laura! You are so beautiful. I love you. Please buy enough cake for us to celebrate. When we are done celebrating we will spill water on you (this is an ACC tradition for the person celebrating) You are like gold. Gold Auntie Laura. God's love, -Nelson (a charmer at age 10)

My host found out it was my birthday and stopped on the way home to treat me to a chai latte and cinnamon crunch bread from a delicious chain here in the states called Panera bread. That made for two chai's in one day! That night the girls made me a cake with the host and served it to me hot out of the oven and sang as Gladys dished out big scoops of vanilla ice cream on each piece.

There will be a time when each special day, holiday, and traditions made with family must be celebrated at a distance and with others- but this new little family of mine- of 22 kids, 6 North Americans, and three Africans made that day very memorable- and thank you all from home for all the ways that you thought of me and for your well wishes!

St. Louis, St. Peters, St. Charles???...and now Columbia!!

2008-11-10T22:11:00.000-05:00

I have just finished my last sip of tea here- I would get up to make some more and then settle in to write this entry but you see I am already quite cozy under four big blankets in a huge king sized bed...and to top it off if I made more tea it would mean that I have used up this family's whole supply! What can I say? It's just that the British in me is so relieved and excited to see a kettle for making hot water instead of a microwave!

This past stay has found us at "The Crossing"- a church in Columbia Missouri. We had our largest audience attendence to date at our concert here- it was really fun to see the kids so happy by a crowd that was so excited to see them perform. We had to delay the start of the concert by almost 20 minutes because there were so many additional people that still needed seats so the entrances to the show wouldn't be completely blocked and the kids unable to even enter to where the performance was- it was awesome.

The morning after the concert the kids slid down to devotions- I kid you not, there was actually a slide in this church that took you from the top floor to the bottom...and naturally all the chaperones took this route downstairs during the day too!

That night the church planned a Thanksgiving dinner for us- turkey, corn, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, rolls, and two tables full of desserts that all the host families had done.

Before dinner the church had planned a craft for our kids and the childrens department to decorate and stamp their own canvas bags- I think half the paint ended up on the kids hands and half to the bags but they had a great time. This is Gilbert showing his new colour scheme for US Airways- I agree, grey was never too exciting. It is always nice to have the opportunity to all come together to share dinner as that doesn't happen often. Over dinner the children's director presented us with a book all the kids in their classes had made- each page highlighted a different things that start with a certain letter and the pages were all illustrated by the kids. They had worked on it for months- and it will great for the kids to have to read through on the bus now, and to remember these people by.

Certain places are starting to blur together- I believe we covered four differnt towns that started with St. in the past week, and I am thankful to finally be somewhere distinctive like Columbia! Beyond that I will remember this place for their generosity and willingness to serve us in every way we could- it has been a great stay. But now- whether this is good morning to you or mid afternoon it is goodnight and time for this king sized bed for me!

OneXOne in San Fransisco...

2008-10-31T19:20:00.000-04:00

Finally! I now have both a good wireless connection and some free time before dinner to tell you about San Fransisco! Last week 6 chaperones and 22 very jet lagged children landed in California- here's a glimpse as to what our drive to the hotel looked like after landing as I frantically tried to capture all the palm trees on camera!

We left the hotel in Illinois at 3:30 am (this picture is obviously taken while the kids were still happy and awake before their 2.5 hours of sleep) for a 6:00 a.m flight where half of the group flew to Pheonix while the rest of us took the next flight to Philidelphia. From there we caught a connecting flight to California and after almost 10 hours of travel we landed only to find out that what felt like it should be 4:00 p.m was only 12! Needless to say that was to date the longest morning of my life. We were escorted to our hotel in the sleekest bus I have seen- cup holders and black leather seats...one of the kids exclaims "Auntie- this is A LOT nicer than our bus....is this our busy now?"

There is not much to tell of the time where we were at the hotel as we all pretty much just slept so I will spare you that part of the adventure and skip ahead to the following morning!

The next day was really exciting- after lunch we arrived at the event centre for the gala just as people were setting up for the silent auction protion of the evening and dinner. Soon after I lead the kids through vocal warm ups I met with Josh Groban's producer who introduced me to Josh's pianist(that's right- we're on a first name basis now). I then proceeded to conduct the kids through a couple practice runs of the song with Josh's pianist in his dressing room! It feels just as surreal to type that as it felt to be there that day. I was so excited- they were really happy with the prep work I had done with the kids and after running thorugh the song twice said that they sounded great and were well prepared and needed no further run throughs! From there we went to sound check with Josh who worked really well with the kids, and the run through with him ran just as smoothly as our earlier practice. Afterwards we met with Nikki Yanofsky, a jazz artist from Montreal who is only 17- for such a young girl she has one amazing voice! If you haven't heard of her I encourage you to google her myspace- if you like Ella Fitzgerald she covers a lot of her music. For having such a short amount of time to learn the music the children sang really well with her too and were confident with their entries, and really I couldn't have been happier.

That night they sang really well- I think the pressure of such a big event and nerves only caught up with me as they sang that evening with Josh Groban for such a high profile audience- I felt as though my poor little heart would beat itself right out of my chest! However, I left that evening feeling very happy and proud for the kids- they sang beautifully and smiled big. All the proceeds from the evening went to aids- and the live auction (hosted by Matt Damon) made $600, 000 on one item alone!! And here's a picture of the kids with him later that night on the red carpet!

....and now we are back into the regular routine of tour- I feel very lucky after just finishing my degree in music to have had an opportunity as big as this! It looks like we will continue to travel to more big events as in a couple weeks we are scheduled to sing at a conference in Boston for 300, 000 people! I'll keep you posted... :)

On the way to OneXOne...

2008-10-22T00:40:00.000-04:00

After one very short hotel sleep, a time zone change, one plane ride, a layover in Arizona, and hopefully some caffine from starbucks I will be in San Fransisco California! This past week I have felt quite out of touch with you all and for that I am sorry- the days have been packed full of leading rehearsals, and we devoted what would usually be time for school or just a chance to play to more practice. I am really proud if the kids though- they all have picked up on the music so quickly, and considering the tight time line to learn the music have done really well. I have had so much fun teaching them the new songs, and it is easy to just feed off of their excitement for the event and learning new music. I find that I just walk away from a practice just smiling- I can't believe some days that this is actually my job! Today Immaculate wrote me a note on the bus ride that said "Dear Auntie Laura, I love you so much. Thank you for teaching us new songs- I am so excited for tomorrow." They sing the songs as they brush their teeth, and while they eat...I find myself thinking I've heard the songs playing even when they haven't been...I'm going crazy! Tomorrow will be a day of rest once we reach the hotel in California, and then on Thursday we rehearse with Josh Groban's producers, Josh (we are already on a first name basis) himself, and Nikki before singing on the red carpet that evening. I've been so lucky to have this chance- to teach music for such a high profile event and a good cause! What a chance- I will tell you all about it in a couple days!

over the state line...

2008-10-11T22:47:00.000-04:00

Today's drive took us out of West Chicago and across the state line into Appleton Wisconsin. The kids were really excited about all the windmills we saw today, and how the leaves were starting to change colour. I so easily forget sometimes just all the little differences they experience all the time, and seeing their excitement is just such a fun reminder of that. Tonight the host family I am with live almost next door to their brother and sister who are also hosting kids from the choir. So there's half the choir staying in just one block! We got together with some of the other kids to watch fireworks that the Dad I'm staying with put on for the kids. The girls had never seen fireworks before- it was so fun to watch them! I think half the neighbourhood could hear them screaming for fear that some of them would "drop fire on my head!" On Monday night we have planned to make smores with the kids over their first bonfire, and before that go paddle boating on the pond behind the house here- it is going to be such a fun stay. The breakfast menu has already been planned too- pancakes for tomorrow, and then homemade waffles the next morning- I've never been treated to so many nice warm breakfasts before- what an upgrade from my usual panic to catch the bus with some toast. I like taking time to just sit and talk over breakfast- it's usually the meal in the day that you don't get together for so it's a nice change to take the time for that. It looks as though this job might turn me into a morning person!

This past week has been a busy one for the kids- we've done more shows during the week than is normal, and so we're going to suprise them as a treat with a stop for icecream on Tuesday when we make our next long drive back to Illinois. This week the kids are performing live for a news show on Wednesday afternoon- but the most exciting news is that I will have the very lucky chance to go with the kids to San Fransisco on October 22nd! The kids have been invited to sing at a fancy gala and fundraiser there- and will be singing "You Raise Me Up" with Josh Groban. I have the lucky job of preparing them musically for this- and even getting to meet and work with the kids and his producers once we're there! Guests include Matt Damon and Brad Pitt too- I am not even one who follows celebs at all- but I must say I am feeling pretty darn excited- who knew that life would ever see me here!

No matter how busy the days get one host family put it well last week- "what a blessing your job must be- you get to hear these children sing each day"- and really, she couldn't have been more right.

A note from Yorkville IL...

2008-10-07T22:54:00.000-04:00

As I sit down to write the clock already reads 10pm- and once again I feel as though the day has slipped away, and the moments I have to spend with my hosts and kids have gone all too quickly. Somehow hours of the evening full of playdough creations, enjoying dinner, and colouring giant sized colouring pages has felt like only a couple minutes.
There is something so heartwarming about having the opportunity to be apart of someone's family- if only for a mere couple days. This past stay, I have truly experienced how quickly you can feel at home somewhere, and just how much you can share with someone in such a short while- and now I must say it is a bittersweet feeling to move on from here after having the chance to more deeply get to know these people. The family I have stayed with has hosted the African Children's Choir before- they bought playdough for the 2 girls I am staying with, and jumbo sized colouring pages. It was the first time the girls had played with playdough- and tonight we all spent an hour making tons of playdough animal creations, and one of the girls made 5 pancakes out of playdough for the animals to eat.....I believe this girl was just feeling really hungry at the time. All those years of studying art have come in handy I guess- the girls were delighted with my cat and hen creations- and because of that now "Auntie Laura is very bright".
Yesterday I taught my second english lesson and am having fun as I try to incorporate creative ways to explain and practice concepts. It is nice that our team has so many chaperones too- it means that the teacher to child ratio is quite small- in my grade 2 english classes I work with only 4 girls. As I continue to work with them and get a better feel for where they are at in school I can begin to use some of our longer bus rides to help them with any concepts they may need more practice with. After seeing how high the standards of the schools in Africa are, I really want to be committed to helping these kids do well in their schooling so that they can succeed in their classes once they are back home.
Today I had my day off- and last night (over good tea I might add!) I made plans with the woman I am staying with for a day out together. She offered for my friend Sarah (who is also a chaperone) to join us- and then the three of us started the day off right at Starbucks. We did some shopping, and then found a thai restaurant for lunch before I had my first experience at Target. It was such a wonderful day together- I am just continually blessed by the generosity and warm hospitality of the people I meet- and I believe that I will walk away from this experience rich in the blessings of friendship.

Before I head off to bed, I have a couple quotes from the kids that I want to share:

Gilbert pulls out carrots from his bagged lunch: "Auntie look! These are my enemy!"

Rose: "Auntie Laura- if your hair is not straight tomorrow I will not smile in the concert."
...and "In tomorrow's concert when we tell the everyone what we want to be I am going to say Hello! My name is Rose. When I grow up I want to be Auntie Laura."

Gilbert: "When I first came to America someone offered me a hot dog. I did not want to eat it because I thought it was made from a dog. But now.....now, I know that is not true and it is okay to eat."

...and finally,

Nelson: "Before I came to America I did not have many clothes. But now I have nice clothes and ay-yi-ay! I look smart!!"

A Day in the City...

2008-10-02T22:17:00.000-04:00

Tonight I write to you from just outside of Chicago after spending my day in the city! Today was my first day off- and I took the train into Chicago with my friend Angela to see Seurat!! Now my trip is complete. So I guess that's it- thanks for all your support!

....just kidding.

It was a wonderful day though- I have looked forward to this chance to see the art gallery since I knew we would be touring in this area- unfortunately half of the impressionist exhibit and the entire modern art exhibit was under construction and not available for viewing, but I was able to see the American art section and the famous painting "America Gothic" which I didn't know was even in this collection! In the afternoon I had a my first Caribou Coffee experience, and left with Angela and her friend to walk around Millenium park chai latte and lemon loaf in hand. We saw the bean, and then I got to see Moody Bible Institute where Angela went to school.

The weather has now become quite cool- but I am resisting it with my spring jacket! I was glad for some warm stew at my host family's home tonight when I got back though. Tomorrow we have a short ride to our next concert- and this upcoming week we are performing at two colleges- it is not a normal schedule so we won't have another day off for a couple weeks so I was really happy today worked out!

2008-09-29T22:07:00.000-04:00

I have cozied up to write from a cozy home in Freeport Illinois with brownie and apple cider close at hand. This weekend the choir did four concerts within the past 2 days and we were greatly rewarded by Sunday afternoon off! It is what I have always wished Sundays could be like- just taking the afternoon after church to relax and then later have everyone together for dinner. After singing in the 2 morning services the church had booked the pool at the YMCA for us and the kids got to experience their first swimming pool & I quickly gave up taking pictures to just jump in and play with them. Afterwards, we went to the apple orchard to play in the hay bails and mazes- and for the best part really- to eat the warm freshly made apple doughnuts. Mmmmm....speaking of which I believe there are still some in this house left over...maybe for breakfast tomorrow morning?? (here's hoping) The family I am with has tried to bless the boys with many 'first experiences'- and apple orchard and pool aside we have been to a park that has a castle playground and have been to McDonalds for happy meals and much fun in the place place. During the day we have continued to rehearse, and tomorrow we start school! I am teaching P2 English...which is the same as our grade 2, and really looking forward to it. The kids are eager to start school again after weeks of rehearsing in both the mornings and afternoons. It has been really interesting for me to watch their individual personalities shine through more in rehersals, and it will be neat for me to continue to get to know them in a different light again during school. Rehersals have been going well though- it is a privelage to work with the children and have a hand in ensuring the musical concerts are at their best. That being said, I must be off to plan some things for tomorrow!

p.s- one funny note- the novely of blonde hair and white skin has not worn off- today I was told "Auntie! Your forehead is very good." Not a day goes by where I haven't laughed with every coming hour.

A note from the mansion...

2008-09-25T23:05:00.000-04:00

Right now I am writing to you from a mansion sized house in the suburbs of Chicago. I'm not kidding when I say this house is huge- I fear that with my sense of direction (or lack there of) that I may be at risk of getting lost in all these rooms! Right now this is my third stay with a host family- I was looking forward to this aspect of tour so much, and am so happy to be meeting all of these different families! Myself and the children I have stayed with have been richly blessed with such warm hospitality. These two pictures are from my second stay with a host family- their kids taught Galdys and Immaculate (in the far right picture) how to ride the tire swing, and later that day the whole family took us to Indian caves and walking trails behind their home. The mother sent me off with a bag full of my favourite kind of cookies freshly baked from the morning- and when we opened our lunches myself and the girls all found goodbye cards tucked in between our sandwiches. It has been such a joy to experience so many firsts with these children as they visit different homes- everything from learning what a laundry machine to seeing a garbage disposal in action- it is all exciting. Pooh Bear once told Piglet "My very favourite things are the smallest things", and although Pooh wasn't the brightest stuffy I must agree with him on this one. The everyday activities like sidewalk chalk, or going through a DQ drive thru have become all exciting treats. At my first host family I enjoyed the evening just talking with the husband and wife out on their patio- and some of the neighbours joined us and we just sat and talked for a couple hours. It was so nice to have the chance in the day to just have good conversation together. They were very curious about the work of the choir and I was able to share a lot about my time in Africa. As I travel I am even more grateful for my time there with the children. I am able to better understand where they are coming from and relate and try to understand and work with our cultural differences. I also believe it validates my position in working with these children and being their chaperone and parental figure, especially in the homes of different families. I can better understand why the children are shocked at the concept of a walk in closet, and am better able to understand how different parents and children act in their families and ours here in North America. I have been able to answer many questions so far on where they are from, and have been blessed to watch so many families be humbled by our stay with them. It has been so neat to watch kids patiently interact with our children, and encourage them in their dancing and singing by wanting to learn their favourtie songs and dance moves from the show. A couple days ago some of the neighbourhood girls came over to the house I was at for a dance party- pretty fun. I have been blessed by the praise of many adults for our work, and listened to them speak of how this experience of hosting these children- if only for a mere couple days- has changed their faith and humbled them as they become more aware of how we are so richly blessed by all we have. I have heard many testimonies of how after seeing the concert and meeting the kids parents have wanted to complain less as they see, in comparison to the kids, just how much they have and how easy and peaceful and safe our lives are.

So I am loving the time with host families- the next couple days of our travels we will only be staying with people for one night stays, but once the weekend is over we will settle down again for a three night stay closer to the heart of Chicago. Art Gallery here I come! (oh dear...I feel my real motives for tour are beginning to show....just kidding!)

Our concerts have been going well- I have been proud of the kids for all their hard work and efforts to improve each concert- and that they have been. I look forward to continually reherasing and continuing to improve on the quality of this show so that it can better impact and touch the people we meet as we travel.

2008-09-25T22:57:00.000-04:00

Dear friends,
After feeling overwhelmed in excitement with everything there is to share with you from my experience in Africa, and as we travel the America I have decided to create a blog to keep everyone more up to date on the everyday! I hadn't initially wanted to make a blog as I thought it would make our communication less personal, but I am discovering as we tour that one must grab hold of the moments to communicate whenever they come- as they are precious but few. So I believe that making a more regular account of my travels, and lessons learned in this space will allow me to be a more personal communicator in my e-mail if I can update you on the daily excitements here! I hope you will check in often- I wish you could be here if only for a short while to experience some of this along side me- but may these entries and pictures be a means of taking you there...

-Laura